First dates suck. They do. They're awkward, intimidating and sometimes, just flat out uncomfortable. But as painful as they can be sometimes, they're one of the most important parts of dating. The first date can make or break your relationship with a girl and set the stage, for better or worse, for how you two will interact from then on. Rub your date the wrong way, or leave a bad first impression, and you're as good as done for. However, leaving a lasting and memorable first impression on your date can be the key to getting in good for a long time to come.
Dating is tough, but cracking the code to winning someone over on the first date can be simple as playing cards: you just have to know the right cards to play, and when to play them. Guys, here's a trusty compass for how to navigate your first date. Ladies, worry not, yours is on the way.
Make Her Laugh
Who doesn't like a joke? The easiest way to get you started on the right foot is by making her laugh. They say laughter is the best medicine. This holds especially true when trying to cure a case of “First Date Awkwardness Syndrome." Don't force an untimely pun, and please, God, don't tell a knock-knock joke. A simple way to go would be to poke fun at someone or something around you. Maybe someone at the table next to you spilled on themselves, or maybe a nearby dog at the park tripped and fell over. Don't make it about you, and definitely don't make it about her, but rather focus on a neutral subject that you both can harmlessly chuckle at, and let the conversation flow from there.
Find Common Ground
Fantastic, you've broken the ice and you've started a conversation. Now comes the easy part: finding something you both have in common. It seems like common sense, but you'd be surprised how many guys skip right over this step. Although it's simple, it's also very important, as it leads to more conversations that you'll both enjoy. Think about it, you wouldn't want to sit there for an entire date and hear all about her job this, her family that, and some monotonous nonsense about how her neighbors keep her up at night. Guess what: neither does she! No matter how interesting you think your high school glory stories are, she might find them to be boring as hell, so rambling for two hours recounting your 18-year-old prime will only turn her off, and make you look like you peaked even before you got your diploma.
Get creative, steer the conversation towards something that you both find interesting, so you can both enjoy talking about it to each other. You both like photography? Mutual odd obsession with the color red? Good for you. Roll with it and keep the conversation going. If it starts to steer in a different direction, let it! Believe it or not, that's how talking to girls works -- conversations develop and evolve. The more you both talk, the more you'll find what you have (and sometimes don't have) in common.
Make Physical Contact
Here's where a lot of good guys go wrong. No, I'm not talking about lunging in for the kiss right after the appetizer gets to the table. That's a surefire way to have her dip out before dessert. Make contact in a much less aggressive, but more joking or playful way. If you both start laughing about something, give her a playful push, or if you're walking, grab her hand to steer her in the direction you want to go. Girls aren't not going to tell you exactly how to go about doing this, that's up to you (what do you expect them to do -- script out the entire date for you? Come on now, guys.) Just make sure that it feels natural, comfortable, and not forced. She loves a friendly touch just as much as you do, so step up to the plate and make the first move.
Do Something She'll Remember
Alright gents, you've already provided great conversation, you've made her laugh, and you've found some common ground. Congratulations, you've mastered dating on a middle school level. Time to move up to the major leagues. The biggest mistake guys make on first dates -- which can leave them missing out on a second -- is failure to stand out. What's the point of going on just another boring date? How many other dates do you think she's been on in her life? In the last year? You need to be different. You need to do something that will set you apart from those other Average Joes she's been dating, you need to do something that will make you a Don Juan in her eyes. Be bold. Be adventurous. Be out of the box, and don't be afraid to do something a little crazy. Now, don't say I told you to go write her a love song or propose (neither of which is good first date etiquette), but win her a teddy bear at the fair. Beat someone in an arm wrestling match. Save a damn kitten from a tree if you have to, but do something that will make you stick out in her mind. Spontaneity can go a long way.
Leave Her Wanting More
The date is coming to a close, and you've played all your cards right. You've won her over, and now it's time to say goodbye and be on your way until next time. Naturally, the work is done right? No. You still have one more key step to make sure that you clinch this girl, and ensure that she'll be telling her friends and thinking about you for the rest of the week. You have to leave her wanting more. Entertain her to the point that she's bored for the rest of the night. Leave her hanging with a mystery, or a question. Kiss her just enough so she still remembers how it felt when she goes to bed. But don't go all in. This is like poker gents: play it safe and place your bets so you can win big later on. There has to be something left to leave her no choice but to come back for a second date, and finish what you both started. That's how you seal the deal.
First dates suck. They do. But making them suck less can be as easy as following a few simple rules, in a couple of quick steps. With practice, you'll be wooing the opposite gender left and right. Dates are our time to show the ladies of the world what we've got, so let's not let them down. Date on, gentlemen.
