Cats are horrible. Everyone knows it. Even the crazy old cat lady at the end of the street knows that each and every one of her precious little fur babies are literally the worst. Please raise your hand if you've ever been personally victimized by a cat.
After years and years of research I've compiled a list of reasons that cats are the absolute worst.
1) They have no respect for your bathroom time. If the door is shut the cat wants in. Honestly it's hard to even pee without one of them sticking their tiny little paws under the door trying to claw their way in. Why do they want to get into the bathroom so much? Separation anxiety? Or are they trying to kill you?
2) They headbutt you every opportunity they get. You're calmly reading a book. They jump up on your lap all purrs and cuteness then BOOM cat head to the face. And suddenly you can't read anymore because the dang thing keeps ramming it's head at you trying to knock you out.
3) Cats don't respect human sleep schedules. They will wake you up by meowing, headbutting, and smacking you in the face numerous times if you aren't up in time for the morning feed.
4) Forget about reading a book or working on your computer when you have a cat. Cats are jealous creatures. You aren't allowed to come home smelling of another cat. You aren't allowed to be paying attention to something other than your cat. Ever.
5) They are very skilled fighters and we should all be very wary around them when they're angry. I've seen a cat after it's won a cat fight and it's brutal. Also, have you ever heard two cats fight? Horrible.
So, I found this gif and I thought it was entirely applicable because... Jedi cats. Come on guys. Please tell me Star Wars reenacted by cats would not be a completely awesome experience! And yes, they're totally the Sith lords of the animal kingdom.
6) While we're on the subject of cat fights let's talk about how cats are complete ninjas. Ever been sneak attacked by a rogue kitten in the middle of the night? Terrifying. Ever been trying to walk past a sleeping kitty only to be violently attacked narrowly escaping death? Cats are ninjas and it's terrifying.
7) They're so unbelievably adorable we will let them get away with anything. Seriously. I'd let my cat get away with murder if he flashed me the right look complete with a loud purr and an adorable kitty stretch.
8) They will steal your food. Now, cats are picky eaters. They aren't like dogs where they'll just eat anything. No, they have a very refined palate. However, once they sniff something that they want to consume no one can stop them from consuming their fine cuisine.
9) And finally cats are the absolute worst because they don't live forever and sooner or later you'll have to say goodbye to your best friend.
