I love being alone. I just hate being lonely. The difference is that being alone can be a moment of empowerment, self-reflexivity, and pure joy. Being lonely means feeling a constant need to be around people…it is a feeling of dependence on others to define and assure yourself of your self-worth.

Being alone means that I can take myself for a drive around the lake, grab a coffee, and maybe stop somewhere to people watch. I enjoy my own company and thoughts. I love writing, taking a yoga class, or exploring a bookshop by myself. To be honest, it’s all I’ve known how to do since friends drift apart or move away. I have so much love and gratitude for those dear to my heart. But it still doesn’t assuage the sense of loneliness I feel sometimes.

I wake up early but for what purpose? To go to the gym, practice yoga, or go for a run. Alone. What do I do in my afternoons? Schedule meetings, organize times to work, and carve more alone time for myself. Friday nights I read and drink tea and sometimes Netflix binge. I do not like to “human”…only when forced to. But is it too much to ask to find a friend or two who wants to partially “not-human” with me? So as I write this, I want it to be a productive piece rather than some sad lonely-human rant. Here are a few suggestions I have for anyone who loves being alone, but hates being lonely:

1. Go for a hike

Sometimes getting outdoors is just the ticket. Getting that beautiful fresh air, looking up at those huge trees…it is just enough to make you think about how many footsteps were taken before you and how many of our ancestors climbed those rocks. It is sort of radical to think of all these bodies from the past just living and surviving in the very mountains you hike for pleasure. And in a way, you do not feel so lonely anymore. You’re walking with spirits, and that is fulfilling.

2. Join a book club

Maybe you like to curl up with a good book on a Saturday night. There is nothing wrong with that at all! But consider joining a book club. You get the lovely indulgence of reading a book in peace and quiet, but when you close the pages, you have something more beyond the book to look forward to. You get to spend time with others and engage in thoughtful discussion about the same text. You’ll expand your mind, explore your literary skills, and maybe make a few chums while you’re at it.

3. Reach out and plan a meal

I LOVE eating what I want when I want. I have quirky ways of eating and strange tastes in food. But… I know that I can’t do that all of the time. Hit up that group me gang of friends of yours and make a lunch date. If that is too many humans, just text one good soul to grab a meal of food with. It could be an hour of invigorating or meaningful discussion. That’s a hell of a lot better than eating a ham sandwich by yourself.

4. Write letters

Get old school. Indulge in some super radical stationary, bust out the feather pen and write to friends and family. Or consider becoming someone’s pen pal. Children in hospitals and veterans always need a little love and support. Writing something meaningful to another human makes you feel full and warm…definitely a good cure for the lonely blues.

5. Find role modes

Who do you admire? Don’t just think of Kim Kardashian or Payton Manning. Who in your real life inspires you? Reach out to them. Have dinner or just send them a message. Pick their brain. You’ll get some damn good life advice and have inspirational company at the same time.

6. Talk about your feelings with someone

Admitting that you feel lonely is hard…but necessary sometimes. Tell someone how you feel. Whether lonely means bored out of your mind having the house to yourself and no plans, or really feeling empty inside…tell someone. You might get some well-received empathy.

We are meant to connect, feel, and love others. It is an intrinsic element of our nature and a piece of our soul. Find the balance that works for you and may you live a fulfilling, enriching life that makes you feel safe in yourself, but unafraid of the beauty of human connection.