When I was young, my mother always told me that "friends will come and go but family is forever."
While this still might be true, one thing I learned my first year at college is that some of the best company you can keep is yourself.
As humans, we crave contact with one another; it's what keeps us sane! Keeping strong, healthy relationships with friends and family is necessary, but also maintaining a relationship with yourself is equally as important, if not more.
When I came to college, I was excited to meet so many new people and create lasting relationships with people. Little did I know that, after one short year, I would have found a best friend for the rest of my life. That best friend is myself. Here is what I learned by finding company in myself:
How do you expect anyone to like you, if you don't like you? Self-love is essential to happiness. Despite common beliefs, there is more to loving yourself than just feeling good about yourself—it's what you do for yourself. Self-love is so much more than just a state of mind, it’s the actions that you are doing for yourself that are supporting you physically, mentally, and emotionally. So many times, we casually hear the phrases of learning to love yourself and its importance, but it's not that simple.
In order to love yourself, you must show up for yourself every single day. Just like you show up for your classes, jobs, or friends, you must also be there for yourself. Some days might be harder than others to show yourself that love, but sometimes, you must be your own shoulder to cry on when things get rough. Unfortunately, people might leave or jobs can change, but no matter what you must always be able to count on yourself. Having that unconditional love for yourself will allow you to stop being so hard on yourself, even when you have a rough day. You can learn to forgive yourself, like you forgive others. Remember that your failures in life are stepping-stones on your journey of life and that those failures do not define who you are.
One word that I have come to absolutely hate is "perfect."Defined by dictionary.com, perfect is "without flaws, defects, or shortcomings." To me, I believe that perfection is unachievable for that reason. Every single person has flaws.Those flaws are what make us each who we are; they keep us from all being the same. What kind of world would this be if every person were exactly the same, "perfect?"
Understand that not everyone will end up loving you, but that is 100 percent OK. Like I said before, each and every person is different, which makes us all unique in our own ways. Some people's personalities might clash with another person’s; this is just life. Not everyone will get along with one another. Remember that.
Being alone doesn't necessarily mean that you are lonely. Along with the cold weather brought from the winter, loneliness is commonly a companion. One of the times I felt most alone was last winter, but what I realized was that the season wasn't the reason. The reason why someone feels lonely when they're alone is because they don't enjoy their own company. Being your own best friend means you must hang out with yourself, not out of obligation but desire. Taking time to be alone and getting to know who you are will help you fall in love with yourself.Instead of getting in a relationship with someone else, choose to start one with yourself! Do this by taking time to just spend on yourself. In life, things can get crazed and become too much to handle. By taking time to focus on me, I was able to process everything going on in my life, releasing a lot of my stressors.
After I learned my value, I learned that, as selfish as it might sound, I matter most. I ended up treating myself with respect and overall better than I used to treat myself. Most importantly, I loved the person staring back at me in the mirror. I looked forward to spending time hanging out with myself; in fact, I craved the times I could be alone. I loved this because when I was alone, I was not lonely, I loved being able tokeep myself company.
Be your own best friend. Don't neglect the most important person in your life: yourself. Above all, master the art of self-love because in the end, being alone will not be lonely, but the best company you've ever had.
