February 14th lurks around the corner once again. The boxes of Russell Stover chocolates, candy sweethearts, and teddy bears holding hearts reading “I love you” have been taunting you in the supermarkets for weeks. It feels like there are more couples holding hands and kissing than ever before, and you can’t stand it. Your relatives have been asking you if there’s anyone special in your life for years, and this one is no different. But who cares? You’d much rather spend your weekends at the bar shamelessly flirting with guys and knocking back drinks with your best girlfriends than staying in to cuddle and watch movies anyways. Plus, you’d much rather have the whole bed to yourself. Here are 50 things that are better than a Valentine:
1. Free samples.
2. A new jar of peanut butter.
3. Good hair days.
4. Instagram likes.
5. Jeans that make your butt look good.
6. Seeing an ugly picture of your ex’s new girlfriend.
8. Getting compliments from strangers.
9. Not wearing a bra.
10. Not shaving your legs.
11. Doing nothing all day long.
13. Breakfast sandwiches when you’re hungover.
14. Finding money in your jacket pocket.
15. Snow days.
16. Finding out the deadline for your paper got pushed back.
17. Happy hour.
18. Brand new pens.
19. Reality TV.
20. Red wine.
21. White wine.
23. The feeling when you finally double space your paper.
25. Finding old gift cards you forgot existed.
26. Pooping in peace.
27. Any new Justin Bieber song.
28. Cute old people.
29. Going to Target.
30. Sleeping in.
31. Getting paid.
32. A full refrigerator.
33. Things organized neatly.
35. Seeing your food coming at a restaurant.
37. Sleeping naked.
38. Getting told you don’t have to come into work.
39. The feeling when the cashier applies your coupons.
40. Getting the parking spot closest to the entrance.
41. Taking your heels off.
42. Half-price sushi.
43. Remembering you have leftovers in the fridge.
44. Not hitting traffic.
45. New makeup.
46. The sale section of Urban Outfitters.
47. Fuzzy socks.
48. Feeling tan.
49. Birthday cards with money in them.
50. Spending Valentine’s Day alone with this:
So the next time you’re down on yourself for spending Valentine’s day alone, think again. Having a “special someone” isn’t everything, despite what your grandmother may think. Enjoy your single years. Do things for yourself. Stay in your sweatpants all day. Eat a whole pizza by yourself. Make drunken mistakes. Laugh about it in the morning. Don’t take yourself too seriously. Because when the day comes around that you’re ready to settle down, you might even miss it (just a little).
And remember— chocolate goes on sale February 15th.