Anxiety. We have all felt it at times. The anxiety of giving a speech, waiting for test results, or applying for a job. However, sometimes it is more than just a feeling. It's paired with sweats and heavy breathing, served with a side of quickened pulse and shaky hands. But why is it that no one wants to talk about such a common thing?
Here are five reasons why no one wants to talk about anxiety:
1. Societal Pressure.
Dealing with anxiety on our own is an adventure in and of itself, but dealing with our anxiety with the pressure of society is utter chaos. As a society, we've created so many standards of who and how we are supposed to be. It's a mold that the majority of us already feel like we are not going to fulfill. Add in a splash of anxiety and you have just created the perfect recipe for disaster. You can't expect us to tell you about our problems if you are constantly going to be thinking of who we are 'supposed' to be instead of accepting us for who we really are.
2. Sympathy.
No one wants your sympathy. We don't want to deal with the anxiety any more than you do. So if we tell you about it, that is a huge sign of trust. Don't look at me with sad eyes and a tired smile. I know it sucks. You don't have to remind me of that. Be supportive and help us find coping mechanisms that work. Help us navigate through these situations that are harder for us. Your support and understanding mean more than your sympathy.
3. Repetition of the Past.
Years ago, mental disorders were not looked at as a real thing. You were simply thought to be crazy. Sometimes, it feels as though things have not changed. While we have made some incredible progress, people still do not accept mental disorders for what they are. Often times, those with anxiety are told that "it's not a big deal" or to "just get over it." It is not that simple. Looking at us and talking to us like we are crazy is not going to make us trust telling you. It is not going to make us want to talk about it at all. We do not want a repeat of the past. We've progressed way too much for us to take a step back in that direction.
4. Fear of feeling alone.
Because there are such varying forms of anxiety and because no one wants to talk about it, we often feel completely alone in what we are experiencing. At times, we honestly believe that no one will understand what we are going through and this leads us to feeling even more alone than before. This only leads us to further nurture our anxious thoughts and feelings. They continue to build and build until we no longer know what to do with them. We become like volcanoes on the edge of eruption. Create a safe place for us so we can talk about it instead of boiling over and destroying those around us. Because just like everyone else, we don't want to be alone.
5. Making it a reality.
As soon as you finally admit that you have anxiety, it becomes so much more real. You knew you had it before, but saying it out loud amplifies it in a way that you never wanted. While talking about it is a good way to get to the root of the problem and for finding solutions, it doesn't seem so at first. To us, it is the equivalent of screaming into a megaphone from the top of a skyscraper for the whole world to hear. You might as well just fly a blimp across the country. So trust me when I tell you that if someone with anxiety comes to you about it, they love you, they trust you, and they want your help in making their reality easier to face.
We never really talk about our anxiety problems and that's something that needs to change. Let's create an environment where everyone feels safe enough to be their true self. It's time to start talking about it. Silence is no longer an option.
