18 Things People With Anxiety Want You To Know

18 Things People With Anxiety Want You To Know

A couple of things we go through on a daily basis.
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By the title of this article, I’m guessing you opened it because you too suffer from anxiety, or maybe you love someone who has anxiety. Whatever the case may be, these are just a few things you will be able to relate to/ know to be true. We’re not crazy or neurotic we just have a different life than you. When you’re done reading this you will probably become overwhelmed and be put under the impression that our life consists strictly of anxiety. That is not the case. Yes, our anxiety plays a major role in our day-to-day life, but it does not define us. If you do not suffer from anxiety, then hopefully this will give you a better insight of what it’s like, and if you do suffer, then these will probably hit home and ring true.


  1. Our symptoms just show up. One day you’ll be fine, living like a “normal” person almost forgetting your anxiety. The next you’ll wake up or be in the middle of a conversation and you’ll have been struck. The best way to explain this – it's like a light switch in your brain, it turns on and off as it pleases, and suddenly you’re not the same person.
  2. Plans aren’t valid until you’re actually doing them. If you have anxiety then you know the drill. Someone will try to make plans a week in advance. The plans will sound good at the time and you’ll have all intentions on doing whatever it is they’re asking, only hoping you will feel good that day.
  3. Depression. A major stigma of anxiety is depression. Once you’re diagnosed with anxiety you’re automatically considered depressed. Although this is the case for some, it’s not the case for everyone. I can't even begin to tell you how frustrated it makes me when I tell someone I have anxiety and they say “ohh…depression” and if they don’t say it, you know they’re thinking it. No you insensitive a$$hole, I’m not depressed, I just do a lot of worrying. There really needs to be an end to this labeling, both are serious illnesses, and its ok to be depressed, but I am not that.
  4. We're really good listeners. I’m no scientist, but I think it's because we know what its like to have a bad day so often that were basically pros. Sometimes listening is exactly what someone needs and we understand that. We know the value a good listener holds, and we are more than happy to be that person for you.
  5. We know how to be empathetic. We are thankful for sympathetic people, but were not trying to be, “felt bad for”. It means so much more to me when someone actually tries to put themselves in my shoes instead of giving me a weird, uncomfortable look and a tagline such as, “things will get better.” We know the difference between feeling bad for someone and actually feeling for someone. The difference between the two is a thousand miles and they have totally different effects on us.
  6. We share an unspoken bond with each other. Knowing there are other people who are going through the same thing is actually reassuring. When you don’t have to explain yourself to someone it’s a really great feeling. They know what you are going through and actually understand.
  7. The annoyance of hearing someone who doesn’t have anxiety say they do. No hunny, you’re just stressed. I wouldn’t wish this illness on my worst enemy, but if they could live how we live for just one day, they would throw the word anxiety out of their (dramatic) vocabulary.
  8. “Calm down.” If everyone could understand and accept that although we wish with every fiber in our being that we could just, “calm down,” we cant. These two words are so annoying and make us feel even crazier than before.
  9. The hatred of a pill bottle. Knowing that the one thing that actually controls and helps your anxiety comes from a tiny orange bottle is so frustrating. The envy I have for people who can be themselves without taking drugs is unspeakable. I often find myself wondering what my life would be like if it didn’t revolve around a single pill.
  10. Reasons. Most of the time there is no real reason for our anxiety. My mom can always tell when its just one of those days for me, and she knows the struggle because she also goes through it. She try’s to make me feel better and usually starts by asking the question, “what’s bothering you?” Sometimes I can answer this question but for the most part, I cant. My answer usually goes something like, “if I knew what was bothering me it wouldn’t be bothering me.” A majority of the time there is no apparent reason and you’re left feeling blah until it goes away.
  11. The way we come off. No, I’m not trying to be rude, I’m not lazy, and I’m most certainly not looking for attention. On the days we’re tip toeing around our anxiety were doing our best not to wake up the devil. If it means being reserved or staying within the boundaries of our comfort zones, that is exactly what we are going to do. Everyone deals with it differently and the last thing we are worrying about is your perception of us. Our anxieties are scarier than your judgments.
  12. “Leave me alone.” It’s not said to be mean; it’s just that sometimes we need to handle it by ourselves. We appreciate your yearn to help but its not going to work.
  13. Your pep talks are annoying. We know, “life is great” and “there’s more to life than the problem you’re facing right now”. We hear it way more than we should for our own good. Contrary to popular belief, we agree with you, we know life is good. We do have good days and for the most part, we are genuinely happy. We enjoy life just like you, we just have a significant more amount of stressors and they affect us differently.
  14. A big “LOL” to the “live for today” notion. We would love to live in the moment, but instead we’re busy reliving the past or predicting/foreshadowing the future. I’m sure its great to unconsciously live in the present. In fact, we wish we could, but 9 times out of 10 other things are consuming our thoughts.
  15. One word: coffee. Coffee for people with anxiety is a blessing and a curse. Before we order a cup we need to assess how we are feeling that day. On good days, it has the same effect on us that it would for anyone else. On bad days, it will cause difficulty breathing and in turn, enhance the chest caving feeling.
  16. We know most of our fears aren’t rational. We still can’t help it and are still going to obsess over them. Your logical reasoning for them to be thrown away is a waste of time.
  17. Trying to describe how you feel. It’s honestly equivalent to describing color to a blind person. You’ll only understand what it feels like if you, god forbid, experience it. The feeling of being a prisoner in your own mind and body is unexplainable and trying to relay the feelings we experience won’t do any justice. If we could explain what it feels like we would just so you could see anxiety is real and we’re really not attention seekers.
  18. We’re thankful for all of the relationships we have. You’ve seen us at our best and our worst, and you still stick around. I can’t even begin to explain just how thankful I am for everyone in my life. I know I’m not easy to deal with yet you still refuse to jump ship. Thank you for being you, I hope you know how much you are appreciated.

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2nd Annual Black History Celebration Part 3 of 5

Famous black inventors.
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There are many black individuals who have greatly contributed to the inventions we use today. Unfortunately I can't list them all, but here are a few:

1. Dustpan

Have you swept any trash into your dust pan lately? Well, you can thank Lloyd Ray for that. He made an invention that helped people to get rid of trash without getting their hands dirty.

https://www.thoughtco.com/lloyd-ray-dust-pans-4071...

2. Mop

The picture that comes to mind is of the school custodians that so helpfully keep the institution’s floors clean. Thomas Stewart created a mop that could wring out water.

https://www.thoughtco.com/thomas-stewart-the-mop-4...

3. Lawn mower

While John Burr didn’t create the lawn mower, he improved it to what is now. Burr invented the rotary blade that made it easier to get the grass along the side of buildings.

https://aaregistry.org/story/lawn-mower-invented/

4. Clothes dryer

George T. Sampson also improved an invention. Before him, ventilators would be be used to dry clothes. However this ended up in the clothes smelling like smoke, being dirty and sometimes catching on fire. Sampson’s improvement helped clothes dry better and not catch on fire. He received a patent for his invention in 1892.

https://www.thoughtco.com/african-american-patent-...

5. Automatic gear shift

Not much is known about Richard Spike but he did create an array of inventions. If you hate driving a stick shift, thank Spike for the automatic gear shift.

https://aaregistry.org/story/richard-spikes-innova...

6. Ice cream scoop

“I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream.” Alfred L. Cralle created the ice cream scoop after noticing the difficulties ice cream servers had scooping ice cream with a regular spoon, into a cone. We have Cralle to thank for our nicely rounded scoops of the yummy, cold treat.

http://www.blackpast.org/aah/cralle-alfred-l-1866-...

"We must never forget that Black History is American History. The achievements of African Americans have contributed to our nation's greatness." - Yvette Clarke
Cover Image Credit: https://www.guideposts.org/inspiration/inspiring-stories/10-things-that-wouldn-t-exist-without-african-american-inventors

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Good Hair: Black Women And Their Hair

Don't touch my hair
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In my English class, my teacher was free to decide what he wanted to gear the material towards, and he chose African American literature. I was immediately excited to hear this; I took an African American Studies class last semester and it was probably one of the most interesting courses I’ve ever taken.

I dove into the material, seeing reflections of myself and my black identity in each text and video. His discussions made sense to me, just as African American Studies had; it felt like all my suspicions and inane feelings about society’s view on Black people were being confirmed.

Our most recent discussion in English was about Chris Rock’s documentary “Good Hair”. The documentary went through the various different ways Black women tamed their hair in order to make White people feel more comfortable. Being raised with twist outs and natural, curly puffs, much of the information was new to me; relaxers seemed harsh and dangerous, and weaves were worth more money than I could even imagine.

My classmates, being White, shared similar sentiments. But the root theme of the documentary hit home for me; the idea that Black women are made to be uncomfortable in their own hair in order to fit into White people’s image of perfection.

I continue to feel every day, regardless of endless compliments, insecure about my hair and whether it looks good. Yes, this is a normal trial a woman goes through, but as a Black woman, your hair is more than just a look. It is your identity, your culture, your defining feature.

It does not listen to you. It is stubborn to pull back into a pony tail, and no other Black woman’s hair is similar to your own. It can do anything you want it to while at the same doing nothing you want it to. It surprises you with its ability, beauty, and texture, but at the same time society continuously forces it down your throat that it is not real beauty.

Society tells you your hair is too loud, too big, and too crazy. It tells you to relax, make it straight, make it something they can understand. It tells you there is no way you’re getting this job if you come in this office looking like that.

In an interesting dichotomy, society tells you that while it not acceptable, its exotic.

“Can I touch your hair?”

“How does it look like that?”

They revoke your permission to protect your body by reaching out as if you an animal in a cage. They touch your head as if it does not belong to you, as if your body is the property of White America. It’s meant to be a compliment of your beauty, but as long as there are good intentions, it’s okay, right?

My hair is my personality. Its giant, uncontrollable, and crazy. It blows in the wind like it has no sense. Its happy to be free and large on my head. It is a permanent part of me that will never go away even if it physically does.

In the end I almost felt like I was leading the discussion because I felt so passionately about the subject. To think people see your natural hair as a threat is a bizarre yet inane notion to think about. While Black culture is again becoming trendy, it makes me wonder how much America really appreciates it. Is it just another effort to control Black people by feigning love for their culture? Will they truly understand what hair means to a Black woman?

Probably not, but we can only hope.
Cover Image Credit: Olivia Griffin

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