So, our Odyssey editors reminded us that good writers write with a specific audience in mind. Our editor Kayla Steinberg's article on sorority life was shared 1010 times on social media! Yours truly has about 2, which is nothing to shake a stick at! They reminded us that "identity" pieces get a lot of attention because people can relate to them. That's a really great thing! But because my identity of "Elizabethan goat enthusiast" doesn't really make a lot of headway, I decided to adopt a new one! Betsey DeVos has been confirmed as Secretary of Education, so that makes me qualified to write about sorority life! So here you go! I hope I get a million shares!!!

30 Things Every Sorority Girl Knows

1. The secret password.

2. How to change a tire.

3. How to change your date's tire, because guys never learn!

4. Something sisterhood something something.

5. How Tomi Lahren's hair sustains enough bleach to kill several small animals at a time.

6. Something something too many shirts something.

7. That sorority hand signal thing.

8. The Le Chiffre card twirl.

9. Where they keep the Yugoslavian war criminals.

10. Morse.

11. That your sisters will always have your back, no matter what!

12. Whatever happened to LMFAO, the band?

13. Did they die?

14. WHERE IS LMFAO?

15. LMFAO knew too much.

16. They were kidnapped.

17. These events are beyond our control.

18. How to eat lots and lots of baked goodies!

19. The STRESS of putting together crafts for your little!

20. What people can possibly hope to get out of Bullet fucking Journals.

21. If You've Ever Seen the Rain.

22. What Love Is.

23. If He Really Loves Me.

24. Why the Caged Bird Sings.

25. Whether indeed it is better to be, or not to be.

26. Sorority Squat.

27. When to Hold 'Em.

28. When to Fold 'Em.

29. When to Walk Away.

30. The Absolute Terror of the Face of God.