The "Big-Little" relationship: the only concept that the general public rolls their eyes at more than the idea of Greek life itself. This society wide cynicism is based purely off of the belief that Bigs and littles have no relationship, or the idea that whatever relationship has culminated between the pair, is strictly superficial. Many are skeptic that Big-Little pairs are not organized based on looks alone, and others believe that these "relationships" are just a front. "My perfect little!" "They don't even know each other," the list goes on.
I can't speak for anyone else -- although if I could, I'd avidly insist that the above stereotypes do not remotely apply to my school or my sorority. Because for me, my big is so much more than my Big; she is also more than a best friend. Yes, we do look (creepily) alike. Yes, we are stereotypically-obsessed with one other. Yes, we Instagram too many pictures together and we're always throwing what we know and we are experts at the sorority squat. But none of this even begins to scratch the surface of who my Big is to me. My Big is my best friend, but she is also my confidant when I need to say something that I would otherwise take to the grave. She is my partner in crime when I have a bad idea that requires an accomplice, and my voice of reason when the bad idea is a little too bad. She is my partner for adventures -- big and small; whether they be excursions to foreign countries, or tedious errands around town. She is my go-to when I need nothing more than peace, quiet, and dessert; and when I need nothing more than contagious laughter or hours of advice.
Here are 25 lessons that I have learned from my Big so far:
1. Do everything that you do with passion. If you're putting your heart into something, put in 100 percent of it. Love people wholeheartedly, truly care about what you do, find the dedications that deserve your time.
2. Be wild and fun and (occasionally) make poor decisions. Like diving into a pool full of jello, even when you have both of your phones in your fanny pack. Proceed to carry on with your night of fun, even though you are both now phone-less.
3. Be innovative. Place your broken phones in a box of lucky charms when the fraternity house does not have a bag of rice. Fraternity brothers will indefinitely be mad at you for soiling their cereal, but hey, it was worth a shot (spoiler: the cereal will not fix your jello-damaged cell phones).
4. Invest your time in people that deserve and cherish it. Learn to decipher between these people and the people who only want you at their disposal. Know when to walk away from a faulty safety net.
5. Keep forgiveness in your heart. Don't push someone away out of hubris. Even people who love you deeply will let you down from time to time.
6. Sunglasses atop head, always. This is important. Keep those sunglasses on when it's raining, when it's overcast, when you're walking back from your 6 o'clock class, when you're in the lib. Always. It's all about the aesthetically pleasing aspect. Trust me.
7. Protect the people you love. If a sweaty boy in a frat basement is disrupting your little, it's ok to aggressively shoo him away. She will be so very grateful.
8. It's possible to be the life of the party while maintaining your class and dignity.
9. Love yourself; know your worth. Nobody's perfect, and you can't be either. Don't drive yourself crazy trying to fix things about yourself. There are bigger, more important things to worry about.
10. If you think a boy has bad intentions, you're probably right. Know when someone who doesn't care is putting on a facade to appear otherwise. Don't spend another second on these people.
11. But know when to be lenient. Recognize the love that someone has for you, despite their steadfast fight to suppress it. Give good things time to become great; the bumps in the road will smooth out overtime, and they will absolutely be worth it.
12. French fries are absolutely a meal...
13. And you can never be too full for ice cream.
14. Not everyone has the same heart as you; not everyone will care as much as you do. Some of your friends will make you laugh harder than you knew possible, but they will offer little more. Some friends are loud with their ignorance, and want nothing less than your advice. Some would drive three hours for you if you called in the dead of night, others wouldn't venture around the block in the middle of the day. Some would give anything to smile; some only want to see you so long as you're smiling. And that's OK. Not everyone can be your big.
15. It's not a crime to be proud. Be proud of who you are, be proud of what you're good at, be proud of your appearance, be proud of what you stand for.
16. There is always enough time in the day to drive past your destination if the music is too right and the weather is too good. When Mumford & Sons or Taylor Swift are on, you'll probably end up continuing in circles while screaming the perfect lyrics with the windows down.
17. Know your limits. Don't push yourself beyond what you know you're capable of- even if you're having the time of your life at a Dave Matthews Band concert. Too much of a good thing is usually a function-impairing thing.
18. Don't toy with people. Don't play games; make your intentions clear and make them heard. There is no excuse. I know that he did this, and she did that, but at the end of the day, you are responsible for your own actions. Act with integrity and show your own character.
19. Let it go. Let go of the grudge that you're holding because your friend couldn't keep her mouth shut; don't you miss her? Let go of the paranoia that he is going to hurt you again; you love him because the way he acted was out of his character in the first place. Let go of the relationship that flourished in high school; you were children. Let go of the anxiety that you're going to fail, let go of the concern that you can't wear that crop top, let go of the notion that everything is going wrong.
20. The pregame is the best part. Get ready early, and make it to the pregame. Take pictures while you're still pretty -- before you go bathing in communal sweat. Take shots -- because who really wants to chug beers at a frat house? Most importantly, enjoy the company of your best friends on the planet -- all in one place, excited for the night. Dance embarrassingly before boys can see. Sing "Why Not" by Hilary Duff at the top of your lungs, at least three times on repeat.
21. Don't wash your down comforter. I know you mean well, and that was very high-functioning of you to do, but you will be extremely unimpressed with the outcome.
22. Family is everything. Give your whole heart to your siblings, because no one will adore you more devotedly. Appreciate your parents. Love them more every day. They do everything for you. You are so lucky to come home to the family that you come home to.
23. It is OK to need space from something, or someone, that you love. It's OK to need time. It's OK to need distance. Sometimes, someone pushes you too far. Sometimes, regardless of how aware they are of your boundaries, they cross a line. Sometimes, something loses its charm, and you realize it doesn't meet your impossible standards for perfection. It's OK to be disenchanted. It's OK to take a step back, and breathe, and get over it. That might even be best.
24. Don't ever let a boy ruin your night. If he doesn't think you're worth the effort, if he doesn't fight to make you happy, he is the last person that deserves the satisfaction of controlling your life. Take in the music, take in the people, dance more because he can't stop you, sing louder because you have no one to answer to. Especially if you're at a club on a beautiful ocean in a foreign country, miles and miles away from home.
25. Strive to achieve balance in your life. Laugh weightlessly about things that shouldn't be as funny as they are, but always respect the seriousness of situations that deserve your care. Make time for all of the people that matter. Prioritize your work over play...unless it's just one of those days.
Thank you Big, for bringing unconditional comfort, love, and absurdity into every one of my days.
