It's 2017, Stop Body Shaming

It's 2017, Stop Body Shaming

You're not ugly, society is.

Body shaming is humiliating, mocking and judging another human being based on their shape or size.

In today's society, body shaming is seen to be a cultural norm that people use in order to make other's feel less about themselves. The tactic is so common today, especially with the rise of social media, which forces us to play the game of being "perfect."

We live in a time now when we allow others to constantly judge us. Why do you think there are so many programs like Photoshop that can alter one's body shape and make us look how people want us to look? Instagram and Facebook are now just a platform to display our "perfect" lives for all to see. Every day, people scroll through pictures of people and constantly judge them for the way that they look. When we shame others for not looking a certain way, we are sending a message to people everywhere that they are not good enough. No one deserves to feel worthless based upon their appearance. No one.

All of a sudden, there are all of these "rules" that come with each body type and how to dress. If you weigh more than a certain weight, you shouldn't be wearing certain types of clothes. I remember entering my first year of high school and being told by everyone that if I didn't start wearing makeup or certain clothes to school that I wouldn't be considered beautiful and that boys wouldn't like me. Even though I was an unsure 14-year-old girl, I still knew that was the dumbest concept ever explained to me. Just because I didn't look a certain way meant that I would not be liked by anyone? No one should ever be allowed to tell someone what they can and cannot wear. If someone feels beautiful or confident in their own skin, who are we to tear that apart? Who is so important that they can judge everyone else for looking a certain way? Here's a newsflash for people who constantly judge others based on their appearances: they aren't asking for your incorrect, unnecessary judgment.

Everyone was born to look different for a reason. If we all looked exactly the same, then life would be a boring place. Someone can have what society considers to be the "perfect body" and still have an awful personality or be a terrible person. It shouldn't matter what people look like on the outside. If people focused more on getting to know the person on the inside, then the world would be such a happier place to live in.

I hope one day to live in a world where people can support one another and build each other up, and not tear each other down. Everyone has their insecurities, but who are we to exploit another based on something that is different or not seen to be "beautiful" in our society. Instead of rejecting these differences, we should be celebrating the fact that we all are different. Every person is built and shaped differently, but that doesn't make one person less beautiful or important than the next. How are we supposed to know what it is like to walk in that person's shoes every single day or what their life is truly like being their shape or size?

The overweight guy that gets made fun of at the gym? Little do you know that he's already lost 100 lbs. and has changed his entire life around.

The really skinny girl you think "really needs to eat"? She's actually super self-conscious about her thin figure and is trying to gain weight, but her metabolism is super high.

There's so much more to people than just what you see. Instead of jumping to conclusions or making insensitive judgments, take a moment to consider someone else's perspective. We all have our struggles and insecurities that we carry with us every day. Don't judge a book by its cover.

We all look different and that's more than OK. Lastly, to the person reading who is tired of getting judged for his or her appearance, feels worthless or just wants things to get better; you are truly beautiful inside and out.

Surround yourself with people who think the same and keep being strong. It's the people like you who make the world beautiful and a place worth living.

Cover Image Credit: Pintrest

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To The Boy Who Will Love Me Next

If you can't understand these few things, leave before things get too involved

To the boy that will love me next, I need you to know and understand things about me and my past. The things I have been though not only have shaped the person I’ve become, but also sometimes controls my life. In the past I’ve been used, abused, and taken for granted, and I want something real this time. The guys before you were just boys; they didn’t know how to treat me until it was too late. They didn’t understand how to love me, until I broke my own heart. Before you truly decide to love me I want you to understand these things.

When I tell you something, please listen.

I’m my own person, I want to be loved a certain way. If I ask you to come over and watch movies with me please do it, if I ask for you to leave me alone for a few hours because it’s a girl’s night please do it. I don’t just say things to hear my own voice, I say things to you because it’s important to my life and the way I want to be loved. I’m not a needy person when it comes to being loved and cared for, but I do ask for you to do the small things that I am say.

Forgive my past.

My past is not a pretty brick road, it is a highway that has a bunch of potholes and cracks in it. I have a lot of baggage, and most of it you won’t understand. But don’t let my past decided whether you want to love me or not. My past has helped form who I am today, but it does not define who I am. My past experiences might try and make an appearance every once in a while, but I will not go back to that person I once was, I will not return to all that hurt I once went though. When I say those things, I’m telling the complete and honest truth. I relive my past every day, somethings haunt me and somethings are good reminds. But for you to love me, I need you to accept my past, present and future.

I’m just another bro to the other guys.

I have always hung out with boys, I don’t fit in with the girl groups. I have 10 close girlfriends, but the majority of my friends are guy, but don’t let this scare you. If I wanted to be with one of my guy friends I would already be with him, and if you haven’t noticed I don’t want them because I’m with you. I will not lose my friendships with all my guy friends to be able to stay with you. I will not cut off ties because you don’t like my guy friends. I have lost too many buddies because of my ex-boyfriends and I promised myself I wouldn’t do that again. If you don’t like how many guy friends I have you can leave now. Don’t bother trying to date me if you can accept the fact I’m just another bro.

I might be a badass, but I actually have a big heart.

To a lot of people I come off to be a very crazy and wild girl. I will agree I can be crazy and wild, but I’m more than that. I’m independent, caring, responsible, understanding, forgiving, and so such more type of woman. Many people think that I’m a badass because I don’t take any negatively from anyone. Just like we learned when we were younger, “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all.” Most people can’t do that in today’s world, so I stick up for myself and my friends. I don’t care what anyone thinks about me, or their option on how I live my life. The only thing I care about is being able to make myself happy. Even though I’m an independent woman, understand that I do have a big heart. Honesty when I truly care for someone I will do just about anything they ask, but don’t take advantage of this. Once you take advantage of this part of me, all respect will be lost for you.

I’m hard to love.

Sometimes I want to be cuddle and get attention, and sometimes I don’t want you to talk to me for a couple hours. Sometimes I want you to take me out for a nice meal, but sometimes I want a home cooked meal. Every day is different for me, sometimes I change my mind every hour. My mood swings are terrible on certain days, and on those days you should probably just ignore me. I’m not easy to love, so you’ll either be willing to find a way to love me, or you’ll walk out like so many others have.

I’m scared.

I’m scared to love someone again. I’ve been hurt, heartbroken, and beat to the ground in my past relationships. I want to believe you are different, I want to hope things will truly work out, but every relationship has always ended up the same way. I’m scared to trust someone, put my whole heart into them, just to be left and heartbroken again. I sick and tired of putting my whole body and soul into someone for them to just leave when it is convenient for them. If you want to love me, understand it won’t be easy for me to love you back.

When “I’m done.”

When I say “I’m done” I honestly don’t mean that I’m done. When I say that it means I need and want you to fight for me, show me why you want to be with me. I need you to prove that I’m worth it and there’s no one else but me. If I was truly done, I would just walk away, and not come back. So if I ever tell you, “I’m done,” tell me all the reasons why I’m truly not done.

For the boy who will love me next, the work is cut out for you, you just have to be willing to do it. I’m not like other girls, I am my own person, and I will need to be treated as such. For the boy that will love me next, don’t bother with me unless you really want to be with me. I don’t have time to waste on you if you aren’t going to try and make something out of us. To the boy who will love me next, the last thing I would like to say is good luck, I have faith in you.

Cover Image Credit: Danielle Balint

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Dear College Kids, Contact Your Legislators

Finding your political voice can seem daunting but it's important to realize that our legislators are just normal people who happen to work for us in government.


As we come to the end of another legislative session, it's important to reflect on all of the good that has happened but also the things that need work on. After entering college, my political voice and passion have only increased.

I definitely cared about politics in high school but after entering college and finding a group that helped me find a community gave me more courage to speak up about the things that I care about.

There is such power in a community. And that is something that I never realized that I was missing until I had it. I completely understand how daunting it can seem to start getting politically vocal.

Especially if you have unpopular or controversial opinions. As someone who grew up in an extremely conservative region, it took me a long time to feel comfortable and confident standing in my beliefs which largely align with the left. But the only thing that I can tell you is that your minor discomfort and fear is so worth it.

I remember being nervous to display that first planned parenthood pin, not to mention that first nerve-wracking call to a legislator. But I can tell you from first-hand experience that it is not nearly as scary as it appears. It is easy to see our legislators as people standing on pedestals that are so far detached from our reality.

But the reality is that our legislators are normal people. They are mothers, fathers, carpenters, activists, and from a million other walks of life. And it truly helps to change your perspective when you contact your representatives. It helps you to feel more comfortable around them and it helps to prove that our legislators are everyday people.

They are everyday people with power only granted to them by us. Our legislators work directly for their constituents. And so even if your legislators have polar opposite opinions to yours, it is still imperative that we voice our opinions.

How are our legislators supposed to know that their constituents care about reproductive healthcare, comprehensive sex education, LGBTQ+ protections, and so many other issues that directly affect our daily lives?

I cannot stress enough just how important these seemingly small steps of action are. Call your legislator. Email them about an issue you care about. If you have the chance, attend a lobby day about an issue that you feel passionately about.

In our society, it's easy to view people in power as distant and out of reach but we cannot forget that the United States was founded on the rule of the people by the people. So people, call your legislators.

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