The gym: A place where one can relax, blow off some steam, and maybe find a match made in heaven? Anything can happen in the gym, but can you spot the types of guys lurking in them? If you know a guy and the number fits him well, tag them in it. It could save their life. (Not really, but it’d be funny).
1. The Beginning-of-the-Year Guy
This guy is known to be around the gym for the first couple of weeks, but then he vanishes without a trace for the rest of the semester. He just wasn't about that gym life.
2. The Sipper
This guy seems to be carrying around a pre-workout or post-workout drink in his little shaker, but never seems to be doing much of any “working out."
3. The Photographer
This guy can be found in one place and one place only: in front of the mirror. He posts photos of himself in the gym going #beastmode, when in reality, he is modeling for himself more than anything.
4. Mr. Ball-So-Hard
This guy works out in the morning and plays ball in the evening. You'll know it's him when you hear, “I can’t really shoot; I just did arms this morning,” or the famous, “I just did leg day; I can’t really run.” Excuses, excuses.
5. Bubble Guts
You’ll find this guy more on the toilet than in the gym. He can’t keep in his pre-workout or whatever else he has going on with him. He just needs to get it checked out.
6. Coach
This guy is obvious. He is either with groupies or with a one-on-one client, teaching them how to work out, what to work out, and when to work out. Nothing but motivation (and yelling) comes out of this guy’s mouth.
7. Latin Lover
This guy is with (near) a woman who evidently isn’t his partner, but he wishes her to be. So what better way than to show her that he works out, especially by impressing her with push-ups. Spitting game in the gym is better than e-Harmony itself.
8. The Pest
The only thing this fella is looking to work out is his mouth. He isn’t in the gym to do curls; he’s looking for the girl with the prettiest curls. He’s the one who talks to at least 10 women a day at the gym and won’t leave them alone. You can find him in the Zumba classes or anywhere there’s a girl present.
9. Mr. CrossFit
This guy only talks about how much better CrossFit is, yet he is always in the gym with you. CrossFit is "so cool." So go do it somewhere else.
10. Spring Break Guy
He’s here two months before spring break and never after. You have to applaud that determination.
11. The All Natural
This is the scrawny guy you knew in high school, but he has since started working out and now looks like a body builder. Any time you ask him if he takes any steroids, he says no and breaks one of your bones. Hmm, suspicious.
12. The Realist
This guy keeps it real. He isn’t obsessed with the gym; he is your average Joe. He does just enough to wake up feeling sore and know he’s living a healthy lifestyle.
13. The Guppy
This guy looks like barbecue ribs with absolutely no meat on them. He's straight skin and bones, but he busts his butt to one day see results. Bless his heart.
14. Mr. Sweaty Pants
This is one of those guys you hate but admire. He works out so hard, but he is just so sweaty. He leaves sweat trails on all the equipment and casually forgets to wipe it down. He literally sweats from just existing. It must be a tough life.
15. The Voice
This fella is either blaring his music so loud he’s going deaf, or he’s singing it to make YOU go deaf. Nevertheless, he needs to tone it down a notch. Or get some singing lessons. Or just sing in the shower.
16. The Veterans
These guys clearly don’t go to college anymore, but they buy a membership in a gym full of college students. Nothing wrong with a little teen spirit. Regardless, they work hard but can seem very cranky if you hog a machine. Comes with age, I suppose.
17. Mr. WTF
You aren’t quite sure what insane thoughts are going through this guy’s head, but you know they aren’t sitting well. This guy works out in the most bizarre fashion, by lifting weights with the face or juggling three medicine balls. His methods are weird, but hey, more power to him.
18. The Vendor
You need protein? You need a thermos? You need a new shaker? You want a healthier alternative? This guy is always trying to get customers at the gym. He will ask you every time he sees you if you’d like to buy one of his products. Can we get a "no loitering" sign please?
19. The Lingerer
He lives in the gym. You aren’t really sure what he does, but he’s always there, lingering. Not necessarily working out, just there. Standing, watching, passing time maybe. Probably people watching. I don't really blame him.
20. Master Splinter
What needs to be said about these men? They love the gym. They live there. It is their hobby, their passion. They are your gym rats. Guys who are very devoted to working out every day at a certain time. Bravo to you, Master Splinters of the world.
