Well, folks, Tony Romo is out for the season after returning from a fractured clavicle just two weeks ago, Gronk was carted away after writhing in pain on the field of the Mile High Stadium in Denver, and Ben Roethlisberger voluntarily placed himself into concussion protocol in the fourth quarter of the game against the Seahawks. Sigh.
More injuries. More anxiety. Longer time periods spent scavenging for whatever semi-decent players still remain on the waiver wire. And now, the stakes are even higher as we approach Fantasy playoffs. We're all terrified, and we all just want to be free from having to bench and/or drop our starting players that now have a "Q," an "O," or an "IR" next to their name.
This is my second year playing fantasy football, and I know for certain that last year, I was never this anxious watching the Monday, Thursday, and Sunday games every week. Any time a player gets tackled or a quarterback gets sacked, I find myself gasping and covering my face, expecting him to remain either lifeless on the ground or begin writhing in pain as I wait for the inevitable injury timeout: Cue commercials. I didn't even notice myself gasping, but I was informed by my fellow league members that I did it. A lot. I have begun, as I know most other fantasy players have as well, to expect the worst, most starting lineup-impairing injuries to occur. It's exhausting, nauseating, heart-breaking. It's football. But yet, we still voluntarily endure it all, because football is #america.
This week for my team, I had to watch Drew Brees absolutely botch any attempted touchdown pass against the Texans, scoring an uncharacteristically low seven fantasy points, and James Jones be virtually nonexistent, scoring zero points, in the game against the Bears. However, the Panthers' amazing defense and Eddie Lacy's surprisingly stellar performance, despite the fumble that got him benched for a portion of the game, saved my team. Well, kind of. I still lost.
Anyway, here are 20 thoughts we all had during NFL Week 12:
1. Eli. Dude, woof.
2. Oh, another pick, Eli? COOL.
3. Todd Gurley, are you there? WAIT, DID HE NOT START? Oh, there he is. Nineteen total rushing yards, though?
4. Ugh. No Amendola. No Edelman. Well, at least we have Gronk.
5. GRONK? GRONK, GET UP! Sigh. Bye, Gronk.
6. PANTHERS DEFENSE, BABY. #NoMoRomo.
7. Whoa, Eddie Lacy? Where have you been the ENTIRE REST OF THIS SEASON?
8. Broncos look good. Brock Osweiler's like, not awful... Maybe it's time for Peyton to call it a good one.
9. Three Detroit touchdowns = Calvin Johnson = MEGATRON = God.
10. Drew Brees, what is happening? Did you forget how to throw a football?
11. Saints, though. Woof.
12. The Eagles are so, so bad.
13. How are the Redskins winning?
14. Adrian Peterson. #cantstopwontstop.
15. Bye, Big Ben. 'Twas too brief a "hello."
16. The officiating in the NFL. WOOF.
17. Andyyy Daltonnn.
18. Rams look good. Not.
19. I wonder of Joe Flacco misses Steve Smith. Oh, right, #NoMoFlacco.
20. Doug Martin 80-yard touchdown? What?
It was another weird week in the NFL. I'm still blown away that Eddie Lacy kept the turkey and chicken wings out of his mouth long enough to score 21 points, his best score this season. He was the first overall draft pick in my league this season (by me), and he's totally sh** the bed, honestly. It's nice to have him back, though I know he'll get all too hungry, and probably disappoint us fantasy owners yet again.
Good luck in week 13, everyone. Choose your lineups carefully.
May the fantasy Force be with you.
