Yeah, yeah, I get it. The scissors are always missing. I have paint in my hair. I'm always running late because I'm emotionally attached to my current art project. And, warning, if you want to hold my hand, it's probably a little tacky from permanent glue residue. This is just the day in the life of me. A crafter. A DIY enthusiast. Or most accurately termed: a "walking craft project."
All of you fellow crafty people will understand. Portraying the crafty persona isn't always easy. People often classify us as being overly ambitious, unrealistic idealists, but I see us as excited visionaries. We are a different breed, yes, but without us would the googly eye company even be in business? Answer: probably not.
To all my fellow "walking craft projects" out there, I want you to know you're not alone. We can all band together as we relate to these crafty confessions...
1. You own about 3,000 glue sticks.
You're not a hoarder! NO! You're just practical. Glue not only holds your projects together, but let's be honest, also your life.
2. You'd rather be crafting than go on a hot date.
Dinner and a movie? Nah. I'll stick with my paint by number and "Friends" reruns.
3. You have a glitter supply out the wazoo.
You just never know when you'll need to make an emergency disco ball.
4. Pinterest is sometimes a better best friend than your actual best friend.
What do you look for in a friend? Personally, I look for inspiring qualities. Sorry gal pals, but sometimes Pinterest outshines you in the inspiration game.
5. You always make your own Halloween costumes.
You never have the same costume as anyone else, and you increase your chances of winning that costume contest.
6. If you've ever been on a diet, it was most likely thanks to crafting.
I love food almost as much as I love crafting, so it's a rare occasion if I ever forget to eat. However, 100 percent of the times I have forgotten to eat have been due to intense crafting sessions.
7. Everyone envied you in grade school because you had the coolest projects.
You didn't have to read the book for the book report because you could just rely on your creativity to land you that "A."
8. When someone needs help with something crafty, you become their best friend.
Warning: just secretly put your name on your work somewhere so they don't try to take credit.
9. Knitting is one of your most strenuous forms of exercise.
With your hands going about a mile a minute you're bound to at least burn 100 calories every two hours! You could even really break a sweat if you add in that rocking chair cardio.
10. If a hot glue gun had the power to kill someone, you'd be on FBI's Most Wanted list.
Like a bullet to the chest, we can end you with hot glue.
11. Our smack talk game is unreal.
The endless paint fumes can go to our heads, causing us to get a little feisty and vulgar.
12. HGTV is probably your favorite TV station.
You can't deny it - you secretly always desired to have your own show on HGTV as well.
13. You break into a sweat and get a little twitchy when you realize someone has out-crafted you.
We are a competitive kind. Just know if you have the best work, your crafty counterparts are about 10 percent inclined to burn you with a hot glue gun, 10 percent inclined to knit your hair into a knot, and 80 percent inclined to casually break off a piece of your project and hide the last bottle of super glue. Haha, whoops.
14. You never buy a gift.
Handmade gifts are so much more sentimental and heartfelt.
15. You always smell like ModPodge.
Forget the perfume, this stuff practically oozes out of your pores.
16. Your health sometimes takes a back seat.
Sleeping. Breathing. Blinking. Too busy crafting.
17. The feeling of finishing a project is more rewarding than graduating.
Who needs a diploma when you just completed an Eleanor Roosevelt sock puppet?!
18. Your spend more money on craft supplies than your rent per month.
One time I had to turn off my water in order to pay for that month's much needed button supply.
19. Your birthday parties were always at craft places.
Jewelry making, cake decorating, and scrapbooking parties. You've had them all.
20. You never fear becoming a single cat lady. Instead you fear becoming a single craft lady (which might be way worse).
While often times our ideas may appear a bit far-fetched, there is no one else out there who is more dedicated or committed to bringing their dreams to life than us "walking craft projects." It is our ceaseless motivation that at the end of the day will leave people saying "wow."
Always stay crafty and classy my friends, and cut, glue, bedazzle, repeat until you bleed.
