As my 19th birthday approaches, I took some time to reflect on what I've learned in my first year of legal adulthood. These are only a few of the things I hope everyone can learn before they turn 19.
1. Never stop trying new things.
There are hundreds, maybe thousands of inspirational quotes already floating around encouraging you to take a chance and get out of your normal routine, but I feel the need to reiterate this important message. Seriously, you'll never know a lot of things unless you try something new, and this will often involve getting out of your comfort zone. For some of us this comes naturally, but if you're a worrier like me you'll have to push yourself a little (but make sure its you pushing yourself and not peer pressure! Giving in to others generally doesn't end well).
2. You'll never want to admit it, but your parents are right about ... well, everything.
I know it may feel like admitting defeat, but one day you too will realize that, more often than not, your parents are right. When your dad reminds you to stretch for the 10th time after a run, just do it. It will come back to bite you if you don't, and odds are he knows this from experience. Parental advice may not always be your favorite kind of conversation in the car or the supermarket, but it'll be worth your while to take a listen.
3. The people you surround yourself with are more important than you think.
Once you're out of high school, the whole clique environment generally vanishes. Just because you're friends with one girl doesn't mean you have to be friends with everyone she knows. Be picky about who you spend your time with because once you have work and college to attend to, your time will be more valuable than ever. Friends can make your life difficult, or they can make each adventure the most fun you've ever had.
4. Exercise is beautiful.
Girls, I know there are mixed messages in the world about what our bodies should look like. Mainstream media pushes unrealistic standards of beauty while everyone else says you should love every size and shape of body. Still, many follow the unwritten beauty standards and strive to have an "ideal" image, but you don't have to. You never have to be what anyone else wants you to be. What you do have to be, for the sake of your well-being, is healthy. Whatever clothing size you wear, your body will feel magnificent and beautiful if you exercise it. True, sweat and stinky gym shorts aren't the epitome of glamour, but a healthy body is so, so beautiful.
5. Becoming an adult doesn't mean that you have to have it all figured out right now.
Especially while I was touring colleges and filling out applications, it seemed like I had to have the rest of my life planned out and ready to go. The truth is, you'll change your mind so many times about what you want in life (and what you want for dinner) that what you tell everyone who asks you what you're doing after high school probably won't matter in a year or so.
6. Everyone grows up at their own pace, so don't rush it.
Enjoy being a child while you still can! Teens and young adults can get away with a lot of things that older adults can't, like wearing certain clothes and eating unhealthy foods, so embrace it while there's still time. Even though some kids in eighth grade are dressing like strippers these days, more people than you think have a youthful mentality (or immaturity, depending on how you see it). So don't push yourself to get into a serious relationship, have sex, drink or smoke or act older just to be like the people around you. Enjoy your youthfulness!
7. It's not the end of the world if you get a few bad grades.
I may still be trying to convince myself of this, but it holds true. I retook the same algebra class three times between seventh and ninth grade, but that didn't stop me from getting into an excellent college or graduating with one of the highest GPAs in my class. If quality academics is what you strive for, something like an F on a midterm may feel like doomsday, but I promise it isn't. If you work hard for your grades, everything will fall into place despite the bumps in the road.
8. As nice as it is to be a selfless person, it's more important to put yourself first.
Let me repeat that: it is more important to put yourself first. You are in charge of your own life, and there is no reason why you shouldn't always take care of yourself before you take care of anything or anyone else. Your health comes before schoolwork, extracurriculars or friends. Helping others is a wonderful thing to do, but it's impossible to do if you're not helping yourself. It's OK to say no to plans if you need to catch up on homework or on sleep, or if you just don't feel like going out. Just like the flight attendants instruct you before every flight, you need to put the oxygen mask on yourself before you assist others with theirs.
9. If you've got it, flaunt it.
Celebrate yourself and your accomplishments, especially if you've worked long and hard for them. Post about your new high score on Facebook or call up a friend to tell them something good that happened to you today. Remind everyone you know about your birthday party (as long as they're invited -= don't be that person) and don't be afraid of drawing attention when you excel in what you're good at. You're allowed to brag a little, just be mindful of others!
10. One small act of kindness goes a longer way than you think.
After my freshman year in college, I worked a summer job at a drive-thru coffee shop. One morning I was forced to work all barista and cashiering positions by myself when my shift partners didn't show up for work. When a man walked up to the door to order, which was not unusual despite it being a drive-thru cafe, he said a quick hello, let me know that he was in no hurry, and politely waited until all of the cars had gotten their drinks and left. He even payed for one woman's coffee when she discovered that her wallet wasn't in her purse. After leaving a large tip and some encouraging words, he walked away, only minutes before the wallet-less woman came back to repay him and thank us both again. A small act of kindness really makes a difference in someone's day, especially when they may be needing some extra positivity.
11. It's OK to pick your partner over your friends sometimes.
It all goes back to putting yourself first. Spend your valuable time with whomever makes you the happiest. If hanging out with your significant other is more unwinding than an afternoon of gossip with your friends, there's nothing wrong with saying 'no thank you' to your friends.
12. Life is way less stressful when you value what's on the inside more than what you can see on the outside.
Mix and matching the perfect outfit, mastering the art of makeup, and pinning the perfect hairstyle are not easy things to do, especially when there's only thirty minutes or so to get ready and what you look like will affect the way everyone thinks about you for the rest of your life...
13. Positivity and negativity are both extremely contagious.
It's true! Your mood can affect the moods of those around you, and vice versa. Not only is it important to surround yourself with generally positive, encouraging people, but it's always nice to remind yourself to stay as hopeful as you can, even on the worst of days.
14. Admitting your problems and asking for help is the bravest thing you can do.
Whether you're struggling with biology, girl drama, or something a lot more serious, you don't have to solve all your problems on your own. Family and friends can be great sources of advice and support for when you need them (and when you don't). On school campuses there are counselors and advisers to help with the academic stuff, and therapists to help with the more serious stuff. I know it may feel like you're not strong enough to handle life on your own when you ask for help, but really you're just strengthening the number of resources you have to assist you on your way to success!
15. Invest in a hobby outside of school/your career.
Classes and work are stressful, even if you're studying or working in your ideal career. Taking time to do something that you enjoy can be a super stress reliever, but only when your hobby is separate from your work. A hobby that isn't remotely similar to your career will ensure you get a proper break from the hardships of work and school.
16. Don't forget to get enough sleep and keep hydrated!
Pretty much every doctor I've ever seen has told me to rest and drink plenty of fluids, so it must be super important! From personal experience, I can tell when my body is too tired or dehydrated; I feel sluggish, clumsy and unmotivated. Getting enough sleep also keeps my mind sharp and my body awake during the most boring of lectures. Hydrating myself is even more crucial while I'm at the gym so I don't get muscle cramps or overwork my body.
17. Stop worrying about what others think of you and start working on what you think of yourself.
I don't even think I need to explain this. Self-image is way more important than whatever it is that others see. The truth is, no one knows you like you know yourself, so no one else has a completely accurate picture of you in their mind. Keep this in mind when you catch yourself judging others, too. Remember that even if you think you know a person, you probably don't.
18. Don't underestimate the power of words.
As a writer and journalism major, I'm totally biased, but anyone can experience the effectiveness of written language. Since our world has become more technologically advanced, cyberbullying has become the most prevalent form of harassment. People underestimate the severity of words and name-calling even though "sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me" is a total lie.
19. Being young is all about learning, so make as many mistakes as you can.
Party hard. Make mistakes. Learn as you go.
