We're a crappy little state, but we've got big pride and even bigger hair.
1. "Joisey"
Fun fact: No one from Jersey pronounces it this way. It is simply "New Jersey," "Jersey," "the Dirty Jerz" or more commonly known as "The Armpit of America." The only people who call it "Joisey" are the people who are not from NJ.
2. Two Words: Pork Roll.
Pork Roll, Taylor Ham, to-may-to or to-mah-to: It doesn't matter what you call it. The only thing that matters is it's the best food to ever be consumed, and do not argue with me on this because you will lose. If you're from out of the state, you won't understand why this slab of meat is such a big deal until you have a native New Jersey-an shoving one down your throat to prove a point, and then you find yourself wishing you could eat a pork roll, egg and cheese on a bagel every meal for the rest of your life.
3. Pizza, Pizza, Pizza!
Papa John's is not pizza. Pizza Hut is not pizza. If you're looking for good, quality pizza that will change your entire perception on what the concept of "pizza" actually is, you'll find just what you're looking for at one of our hundreds of pizza kitchens spread throughout the state, including one of the oldest pizza kitchens in the nation. (Side note: There is no such thing as a cheese pizza. Cheese is not a topping. A pizza pie with cheese is a plain pie. Also, tomato pies are even better versions of pizza.)
4. "Do you know Snooki and Pauly D?"
I don't know why I've gotten asked this so many times. No, I'm perfectly fine with that. I blame MTV for attaching this "GTL" stigma to our state's reputation. That's all I'm saying on this subject because it makes me angry.
5. Go Right To Go Left.
That's all there is to that. Sometimes, you just have to go right (meaning the right lane) to go left. Jug handles, my friends. If you can't master them, do not come here. We have no problem running you out-of-staters off the road. The same thing applies to circles and the swift lane. Anything slower than 70 mph in the left lane, you're getting a nudge.
6. Bagels.
I have yet to find a decent bagel shop outside of NJ that compares to the ones you can find me in on Sunday mornings here.
7. 24-Hour Diners.
Want a place where you can get a stack of pancakes taller than your face, coffee, chocolate cake and home fries in one sitting at 3 a.m.? Three words: 24-hour diners. They cover Jersey. They're all good. Trust me on this one.
8. The Smell.
Yes, New Jersey smells. Whether it smells good or bad, it all depends on where in New Jersey you are. If you go to Florence, it'll smell like the landfill, so it's not great. The same goes for Atlantic City. There, it kind of smells like old alcohol, expired food and pee. However, we are not called "The Garden State" for nothing. Here, you'll find our nationally famous tomatoes, ripe and delicious.
9. Mets, Yankees or Phillies? Devils or Flyers? Sixers or Knicks? Eagles, Giants or Jets?
Again, the answers to these questions depends on where in NJ you are. South Jersey tends to follow the Philly teams since that South Jersey is closer to Philly, and North Jersey usually follows New York teams because New York is basically their backyard. Central Jersey, however, tends to split. I personally prefer the Eagles, Devils and the Phillies. I like the Oklahoma Thunder in basketball but neither the Sixers nor the Knicks.
10. The Accent.
This is my personal favorite, and I've gotten the, "You talk funny," quite a few times since starting college in Maryland. I talk weird because I pronounce water like "wawdder" or "wooder" and "pee-can" and "Aero-pos-tell." Do these people hear themselves talk? No offense: We are not the ones with the accents.
11. NJ Goes Hollywood.
Bruce Springsteen, John Bon Jovi, Shaquille O'Neal, Whitney Houston, Meryl Streep, Dave Thompson (the guy who invented Wendy's), Jack Nicholson, the Jonas Brothers and Kevin Spacey were all born in none other than New Jersey. Need I say more?
12. Princeton University.
I'll leave this one to explain itself.
13. Yes, The Famous Central Jersey Debate.
It exists. I live there. North Jersey is too heavily influenced by New York, and South Jersey is too heavily influenced by Philadelphia. Right smack in the middle is Central Jersey. That's where the best of both worlds is. "The City" could either mean NYC or Philadelphia. Every beach is about an hour to two hours away. It's in the middle of everything. It's the best place to be.
14. Life's A Beach. Well, A Shore.
There are no "beaches" in New Jersey. You have the shore, and you have the bay. It's as simple as that. They're all within an hour's drive, and nothing is better than spontaneous midnight drives down the shore with your best friends. Also, you're not going "down to the shore;" you're simply going "down the shore."
15. Malls. Malls Everywhere.
Malls are literally everywhere. This is no exaggeration. You can't drive into a city in New Jersey that doesn't have their own mall. All of the stores that you can think of from Victoria's Secret to Michael Kors to Auntie Anne's is there. You need it? Jersey has it.
16. Our State Sucks, But It's Better Than Yours.
A New Jersey-an can tell you how awful it is here until they are blue in the face, but the second someone from Maine, Virginia or Arizona talks badly about our home state, beware, because there is such thing as the Jersey Devil. He will find you.
Hope you visit soon!
