If you’re reading this, then you probably are (or were) an all-star cheerleader. Who else would read it? We are undoubtedly a select few who hold the honor of being a part of a subculture that almost no one understands. No we don’t cheer for a team and we’re definitely not gymnasts or dancers, although we respect all of those athletes tremendously. We are something different. Here are a few things you understand if you are currently or are a former all-star cheerleader.
1. “Circle up” is the most beautiful phrase on the planet.
Finally – the words that signify the end of a practice that almost killed you.
2. The smell of hairspray causes severe anxiety because it can only mean one thing – competition day.
All hairspray takes me back to a convention center somewhere, but especially the Freeze-It brand.
3. Getting called a gymnast, dancer or getting grouped in with high-school cheerleaders is offensive – like, really offensive.
Extended family members, “How is gymnastics going? When did you have your recital?” Cue rage.
4. The line between competition makeup and everyday makeup becomes blurred.
How much glitter is too much to wear out? Is my lipstick too bold? How close to my eyebrow is eyeshadow supposed to go again?
5. Worlds Week is a holiday.
You either miss the entire week of school because you are competing at Worlds, or you are not paying attention at school because you’re stalking social media for all the latest results. Either way, your brain has checked out until it’s over.
6. You spend most of your weekends in a hotel.
This is great if you’re in the same hotel as your teammates, but we all have that one time our parents booked too late and we were separated from our pack.
7. The utter disaster it is when your flyer puts on lotion before practice.
Might as well not have a back base on these days.
8. The words “full out” make your stomach drop to your butt.
Audible groans and misery from everyone any time the words “full out” are used.
9. The fear in your flyer’s eyes when you try a new pyramid your coach just thought up, and it probably isn’t legal.
“Ya’ll are gonna catch me, right?”
10. You spend more money on bows than anything else.
You second guess your purchase of a $4 smoothie, but have no problem dropping $35 on a hair bow. You have to have one to match every sports bra, right? I think that’s a rule.
11. The joy you feel when you hit your routine at competition.
End dance, hold three seconds, then dog pile in the middle because you know you were flawless. It’s unlike any other feeling.
12. Similarly, the feeling you have when you’re on deck.
You literally tell them everything. Loudly. And it’s not ladylike – ever.
14. The tears when your favorite seniors graduate.
You cheered with them for up to 10 years, and suddenly, they’re gone. You feel like your team will never be whole again.
15. Lastly, that you can take a girl out of cheer, but you can never take the cheer out of a girl.
I’ll be rocking my bows, tumbling on the beach and stalking the cheer-updates Twitter account until I die.
