We totally understand that you don't know much about rowing. We didn't either before we started, but now it's all we eat, breathe, and sleep. Literally. From high school athletes to Olympians, here's what every rower wants you to know:
1. It’s called an erg
And no, you’re not doing it right. Set the drag between 3-4, and stop pulling the handle over your head at the finish. Legs, body, arms; arms, body, legs. Practice in the mirror and watch plenty of instructional videos – we do it all the time.
2. Our alarms are set for (at least) 5:00am
And 5:05, 5:06, 5:07 – all the way until 5:30 – because we’re horrified to miss practice. (Late? They’ve probably already launched boats, so you might as well skip practice and start your punishment 10k on your own.) We're most likely getting up just as you're heading to bed, so when we fall asleep during that 10am lecture, it’s because we’ve already burned more calories this morning than you will all week. And because we’re ready for bedtime at noon. But instead we’re off to second practice after class. Yay, double days (everyday)!
3. We only have one oar
I know you think we’re either in a dragon boat, paddling a canoe, in an outrigger race, or floating around Allie and Noah style, but we’re actually sweep rowers, and we only have one oar. It’s 13 feet long, it’s either port or starboard, it’s (hopefully) latched onto the boat in an oarlock (although, we’ve all made that mistake), and we hang on it as long as possible. With all of our body weight. Every time. Right, Coach?
4. We’re year-round sprint and endurance athletes
The difference between fall season and spring season is distance. We race long and strong 5ks & 6ks in the fall, and much quicker 2ks in the spring. It’s like running cross-country and competing in the 400m sprint, and you're expected to do them both perfectly. Sounds hard, because it is.
5. It’s not an arm sport
We see you looking at us in the training room or at parties (if we actually have energy to socialize) with those wondering eyes thinking, “How are her thighs that size?” Answer: It's a leg sport. I know you love to compliment us on how our chests are probably incredibly strong because our shoulders are so broad, but it really is all in the legs. How else would the boat run?
6. We’re immune to the innuendos
We say it everyday, so we’re not quite sure what’s so funny about the word cox. You, however, find it funny. Every. Single. Time. We also openly talk about our stroke rate, and really hope we get it in on time – the blade, that is. We’ve always got our peripherals on the (oar) shaft, and we’re constantly trying to bend it. It’s pretty hard though, so you’ve got to get the pressure just right. Oh, and we’ve all caught crabs at some point. Why are you laughing?
7. Erg tests don’t compare
It’s like pushing your body past its limits, just to double check they’re still there. Erg tests aren’t like your run tests, swim tests, drug tests, or you setting a new PR on your vertical jump. It’s likely that nothing you’ve done has ever compared, and lucky you. They’re death, and we hate them. We psych ourselves out and dread them for weeks, and we definitely don’t like the surprise ones after we (for the first time all year) decided to go out last night.
8. We’re not always wearing our unisuits
We know it looks like we’re wearing a white uni, even when we’re naked, but we can’t help the tan lines. We do our best to even the lines out, but let's be real: we don’t have time to tan. We’re either rowing or sleeping. Or eating. But mostly rowing.
9. It’s a water sport
It’s definitely not swimming or diving, but most of us have flipped a pair or single at least once. And if we’re not in the water, we’re getting splashed by waves we’re unsure our thin shell (and coxswain) can handle, or by the novice in front of us who can’t seem to square up before the catch. Feather, damn it.
10. Our hands aren’t cute
We know they’re rough and that they have a million calluses that we religiously pick after practice. And at any given moment, they're probably dirty and smell like salt and sweat. We also know that we most likely can squat more than you. But we’re still ladies and we want to be treated that way. Please and thank you.
11. We’re adrenaline junkies
We race for seven minutes. We train ourselves to death, for thousands of hours, for those simple seven minutes, and there’s really nothing better. We sit at the start line, at attention, and we wait for that flag to fall, knowing we're going to give everything we have to the shell and each other. We live for those mid-race moves and that last 500. We breathe for those power 10s and ratio shifts that help pick up the stroke rate. And when it’s all over, we lay our head on the lap behind us, and we can’t remember anything we just did. We bleed gold and we black out. And it’s awesome.
12. It’s really beautiful
When we actually do every part of the stroke right, together, on the coxswain’s call, there’s no better feeling. We’re (literally) moved by a strong stroke and we feel a deep connection to the boat and to each other when we’re synchronized, on beat, and getting some run. When we do it right, the strokes are so peaceful and breathtakingly beautiful. Rowing is an art – just as much as it’s a demand for strength – and we work towards that flawless technique everyday. Except on our off day each week. Then we're just talking about it instead of doing it, because we just can't help ourselves.
13. If we didn’t love it, we’d be off the roster
It’s really simple: we love to row. And if you’re not dedicated, you’re off the team. And not because Coach got tired of perpetually yelling at you (for the same technique issues) from the launch through a gigantic megaphone at sunrise, but because you just won’t keep pace with us if you're not all in. You’ll get stuck in our puddles, and you’ll have a real hard time taking seats. You either love it or leave it – whatever floats your boat.
