1. We have terrible year-round weather.
Highs for 65 in December? Pull out your sweaters, folks!
2. Speaking of weather -- we do have terrifying natural disasters, monsoon season and haboobs.
Yes, you read that right. Haboobs are really strong dust storms, and monsoon season takes over the state during the summer to cool things down a notch. You can kiss your basement and snow shovels goodbye!
3. We never have any exciting or fun events.
The Waste Management PGA tour, spring training baseball games, Barrett-Jackson car auction, college football Fiesta Bowl, not to mention hosting two Superbowl games in the past six years. None of that appeals to anyone, right?
4. The Grand Canyon.
It's just a big hole in the ground, right? Nope.
5. Arizona has no history.
Let me tell you about this little thing called Native American cliff dwellings. There was this guy named Montezuma and he lived around 1100 A.D., ruling the Aztec people and whatnot. His castle? Check it out in Camp Verde, Ariz.
6. Arizona is really far away from everything, there's no beach and I hate the heat.
Seven hour drive to Vegas. Six hours to Disneyland and the beach. Four hours to Mexico and more beaches. And if you get sick of the heat during the summer months, check out Flagstaff, or any part of Northern Arizona, which are usually 20 degrees cooler than Phoenix.
7. All that's in Arizona is just desert.
Tell that to Lake Havasu. Or Havasu Falls, the Salt River, the Colorado River or the multiple other bodies of water serving as an oasis in our desert state.
8. Your drivers license will expire before you do.
Because you probably really miss standing at the DMV every 5 years. I'll see you suckers in 2057 because that's when my drivers license expires.
9. Our state schools are definitely no fun. At all.
From the mountains of Flagstaff (Northern Arizona University) to almost Mexico, Tucson (University of Arizona) and the Valley in between (Arizona State), plus pool parties 365 days a year, you will definitely have a really hard time finding something fun to do. Arizona State is only like the number one party school in the nation?
10. We don't partake in daylight savings time.
Springing forward, falling back -- we don't know what that means because we never change times. Arizona is legitimately it's own time zone.
11. You'll get really sick of the desert's natural beauty.
If beautiful sunsets aren't your thing, it's better for you to just stay away.
Thank you, Arizona, for letting me grow up in the best place, filled with year round sunshine, cacti and a hint of the Wild West.