As we continue to face one of the most bizarre elections in world history, I continue to search or someone, anyone, whom I can confidently vote for. Listed below are 11 of my all time favorite movie or TV characters in no particular order. At this point, if they were not fictional, I would consider writing most of them in on my ballot.
1. Leslie Knope, "Parks and Recreation."
Pros: Literally everything. She’s bold, organized, driven, has morals, cares about everything, knows the importance of breakfast foods and actually knows politics. I am truly considering writing her in. (Any other character on "Parks and Rec" would also make a good substitute for either actual presidential candidate at this time.)
Cons: Technically a fictional character, but Amy Poehler, if you’re reading this, I would vote for you too.
2. Liz Lemon, "30 Rock"
Pros: She has leadership experience as the producer of a comedy sketch show, she can adapt to strange situations, she has an in with Jack Donaghy, Vice President of East Coast Television and Microwave Oven Programming for General Electric, and she has a generous spirit. (ex: when she bought every hot dog in a hot dog stand and tried to pass them out to people on the street.)
Cons: She can be a bit unstable, is connected to “big business” and can be a bit naïve (ex: when she thought that New Yorkers would accept hot dogs from a random woman on the street.)
3. Dwight Schrute
Pros: He’s driven, organized, can delegate and isn’t afraid to make difficult decisions. He also would be a top choice for president if any sort of apocalypse hits because he has some intense survival skills. He can also speak fluent German and has ties to the Amish community, attributes which both actual candidates lack.
Cons: Power hungry, pretty creepy, and slightly misogynistic. Additionally, his description of himself during a job interview was, “Hard-working, alpha male, jackhammer…merciless, insatiable."
4. Michael Scott
Pros: He has leadership experience as the regional manager of a small paper company. He also has diversity training, knows the importance of parties and ice cream and has organized charity events (Dunder Mifflin Rabies Awareness Walk/Run for the Cure). In regards to awards and recognitions he has accumulated a considerable number of Dundies.
Cons: He can be a bit self-centered and also occasionally hits people with his car
5. The Cop in "Bridesmaids"
Pros: He has good morals, values baby carrots, respects law enforcement and I would listen to every State of the Union speech just for his accent.
Cons: He probably isn’t a natural born US citizen.
6. Professor McGonagall
Pros: She has experience dealing with powerful people, fought in the most epic battle of the Wizarding World ever, is sassy, sharp as a whip and can do magic! She can also turn herself into an animal. Imagine how much more interesting politics would be if the politicians were all animals!
Cons: She probably wouldn’t want to deal with muggles all day.
7. Katniss Everdeen
Pros: She has military involvement, knows the ins and outs of government, is beloved by people and can fire a bow and arrow like no other.
Cons: She might get bored in a stuffy white house all day dealing with bills and laws.
8. Forrest Gump
Pros: He is a war hero, a ping pong champion, a college graduate, a diplomat and a business owner. He listens to all people, no matter their status, and does not discriminate. His heart is always in the right place.
Cons: He might not be the sharpest tool in the shed, and isn’t tenacious enough to really run the country.
9. Fin from Sharknado
Pros: Have you ever seen anyone cut a falling shark in half with a chainsaw? That’s the kind of person we need to run this country. America would be protected from its real number one enemy, Sharknados.
Cons: He often puts his own life at risk when fighting sharknados, erratic behavior that is not ideal for the leader of a nation.
10. Mulan
Pros: Easy choice. She already saved China. She is a great role model for young girls, showing them that they are capable of anything. She has military expertise, an in with the emperor of China, a very supportive group of advisors (Mushu, horse and cricket) and she plays by her own rules.
Cons: She is fictional, not a US citizen and animated. However, I would still vote for her over Trump.
So who should be the final ticket?
After some careful deliberation, I have decided that the ultimate fictional ticket from this random list of people should be…
