Some people are just lazy. They don’t worry too much, and prefer to just lay back and take the world as it comes. Some people are perfectionists. They need every little detail to be perfect, performed in a certain way that allows for little to no error. These two characteristics seem like polar opposites — and they are. It seems impossible that someone could be both lazy and a perfectionist. Yet these lazy perfectionists walk among us every day in a perpetual state of conflict, constantly being torn between the urge to do nothing and the compulsion to do everything. I am one of these people. If you are, too, chances are you have these thoughts on a daily basis.
1. You’re never sure if you should fulfill your adult responsibilities, or just sit back watch Netflix.
This is the classic struggle of a lazy perfectionist — you can’t decide if you should cross some things off your growing to-do list, or give yourself a Netflix break. The lazy side of you will probably win, but you’ll find it hard to relax, as you’ll be mentally obsessing over everything you’re putting off.
2. You’re fantastic at cramming for exams.
As a lazy person, you usually put off studying for as long as you can. Once the exam gets closer and the perfectionist side of you takes over, however, the panic sets in. You’ll spend every spare minute you have cramming as much information into your brain as possible. It’s a good thing you got all that sleep while you were busy being lazy, because you’re sure not getting any now.
3. You can go from sleeping 12 hours a night to pulling an all-nighter in the same week.
Whether you’ve been putting off writing a term paper, studying for an important exam, or you just have a lot of things that need to get done, you’ve become a master at manipulating your sleep schedule. You could sleep for an entire day if you let yourself, but once you let that perfectionism take over, you could stay up all night making sure everything you’ve been putting off gets done.
4. Having every intention of putting effort into your appearance, but hitting the snooze button one too many times…
So you end up un-showered, with haphazard eyeliner and head-to-toe athleisure wear.
5. You know exactly how to formulate the perfect excuses.
Your laziness can get you into some sticky situations, but luckily your experience with perfectionism has taught you how to get out of a tough spot. And even when you can’t get out of the hole you dug for yourself, you’re pretty good at making up for it eventually.
6. You love making to-do lists, but your motivation escapes you halfway through making it.
This results in half-finished to-do lists, frequently ending in a jumble of letters that is indicative of you pounding on your keyboard.
7. You have napping down to a science.
Naps are your best friend. You take them when you’re just lazy, or you take them when you need a quick energy boost to finish all that stuff you’ve been procrastinating. Either way, you’ve got the game down pat. You can take a nap that lasts several hours or several minutes, depending on the circumstance.
8. Your mental process is basically just a giant tug-of-war between wanting to do absolutely nothing, and absolutely everything.
It’s exhausting, really.
9. You find personality quizzes unnecessarily difficult.
Your personality is BOTH Type A and Type B — it just depends on the day. You can never answer those questions that ask you how motivated you are or how strongly you pay attention to detail, because you’re all over the spectrum.
10. Your class notes alternate between being excessively detailed and barely intelligible.
You end up either REALLY knowing what’s going on, or really hoping you have a friend who can fill you in.
11. You have zero motivation and absurdly high standards. At the same time.
You don’t even know how you do it.