If you're like me, your average Sunday consists of sleeping in until 11, groggily walking to the kitchen to stuff your face with food and then retreating to your bed to watch Netflix. It's nothing all that special, and eventually maybe you'll get around to doing your homework. While this may be the norm for you, or some variation of this mundanity, this weekend was the Super Bowl so, of course, your regular routine was not accepted.
Considering we've already got all that in common, I'm going to assume we're basically twins and you hate sports too, right? OK maybe hate is a strong word, but you either don't like them or just don't care. Either way, the Super Bowl came plowing through this weekend, along with it's usual drunkedness, millions of appetizers, lost bets and all the other ridiculous things that come along with such an overrated game of "throw yourself on each other and get a ball across some grass." I'm assuming you see this particular national event this way the same way I do, at least.
Assuming this is all true, we should totally exchange digits and go to Chipotle together, but for now, let's commiserate in our apathy for the Super Bowl together.
1. You probably don't even know when the Super Bowl is. Here's the answer: Always the first Sunday of February.
2. Someone else tells you who is playing. By no means do you go out of your way to find that out nor do you pay attention when it's plastered all over the news.
3. You don't make any sort of plans for the "big day," and if by some chance you are invited to a friend's get together, you go for the company and food – not the game.
4. The fact that people get so invested and angry in this makes absolutely no sense to you.
Why are you yelling at a TV? Over a game of toss? Family members and friends turning against each other by rooting for different teams? Really? Is this how the world works now?
5. People wasting hundreds of dollars on bets over this thing blows your mind.
6. The appetizers and the commercials are the best part.
7. You probably don't know who is playing the half-time show.
8. Maybe, you'll tune in for the half-time show. If not, you'll just see snip-its of the show on the news or watch the act on YouTube.
9. Instead of the game flowing through your mind all day, you're busy worrying about work, doing your laundry and being excited for really anything else the week has to bring you.
10. (Day After) People are still obsessing over the game, specific plays and fouls, and obviously the ultimate result.
For those who lost, they're furious and depressed- their week is ruined. None of this seems logical to you or something worthy of basing your week off of. You're confused, unaware, annoyed, and out-right disgusted.
Them:
or
You:
