The friend zone is one of the worst places to be. It is a place I never thought I would find myself, yet somehow my position there got cemented with someone that I always saw as a lot more than that. He was gorgeous and funny and we shared the same humor. Similar can be a common ground and bond for many a romantic relationship, however, in my case, it solidified me into the friend zone. I was in a casket of our relationship that was disguised as friendship. I no way wanted his friendship yet friendship was all I was offered.
Every time I saw him or even talked with him over social media I felt the platonic nature of our relationship taunting me. I knew I couldn't change it even if I tried and there were moments where I was filled with genuine hope that it could be different, but what lay between us was nothing more than casual friendship and accepting that was a difficult thing to do.
Here are 10 steps to take when you find yourself wallowing in the friend zone as well.
1. Accept it.
Accepting that the relationship you desired is not supposed to be can be a difficult thing to do, however, it is an exceedingly necessary step to take in order to get over whoever it is you're crushing on.
2. Wallow In It.
It's completely okay to let yourself saturate in the sadness of what could have been as long as you move on once you're done grieving. Grieve for an appropriate amount of time, but make sure you move on after.
3. Take a Step Back.
It might be necessary for you to step back for a little while in order to help yourself get over it. Cutting off contact temporarily might give you time to move forward. Repeatedly talking to the person you're trying to get over might result in you repeatedly catching feelings.
4. Acknowledge It.
Living in denial about the situation will only worsen it. Admit that you've been friend zoned and that this is all out of your control. You can't control the situation, but acknowledging your feelings is a good step in moving on.
5. Talk It Out.
It depends on what kind of person you, but talking about your feelings is often times a good step to take in realizing how you are feeling and working on moving on. Speaking to a friend or loved one about how you're feeling is good because often times they have been in a similar situation as well and can come offering advice that will help you.
6. Realize You Might Be Better As Friends.
Make sure to acknowledge the fact that you probably work better as friends and being romantic with one another would tarnish your relationship.
7. See the Flaws.
When you have taken a step back and are in the friend zone you see a lot of things you might have been blind to when you were pursuing a romantic relationship with them. You have most likely been focusing only on the pros of the person you like, take time to look at the cons now.
8. Find An Outlet.
Whether it's writing, singing, dancing, or talking it out, find an outlet where you can get your feelings out so that you don't bottle everything within.
9. Take Time.
Time heals these kinds of things. Do not make any rash decisions or say anything you might regret at the moment. Realize that this is right now and you might feel differently a month or two from now then how you are feeling right now.
10. Move On.
This is so so much easier to say than to do. However, realize that if one party doesn't want to be in a relationship, it will never work. Moving on is essential. If you are not capable of having a strictly platonic relationship with the person you are interested in, then it would probably be in your best interest to not speak frequently with them. If you remain friends and remain to talk to one another even after one has caught feelings, ensure that you start the process of moving on so that one person doesn't feel weird or uncomfortable.
Moving on from something you thought was going to work out can be difficult, but it is an essential move. It can be so incredibly miserable and quite frankly a really difficult time in my life, but I do believe it strengthened me as a person. I've felt more weak and vulnerable than I have in my entire life, but I have learned a lot about myself and also a lot about others as well.