Anxiety. A feeling of worry, nervousness or unease. Usually this worry is connected to things with uncertain outcomes, such as moving away from home to go to college. Will you make friends? Will you make enough money to afford not only your education but also food and other necessities? Will you flunk any classes? This anxiety, this worry, can lead to someone deciding to stay home, and never leave the house. Why go and face all those potential problems if they aren't even worth it?
There's also a form of anxiety known as social anxiety, which causes a fear of being closely watched and criticized by others. It can also lead to false beliefs about social situations and even interfere with someones normal daily routine. The anxiety takes control and stops them from going out with friends or to school, in fear of humiliation or the idea that no one really likes them. In reality, it's just the anxiety telling them so.
To better illustrate this, here is a situation in which anxiety often takes over. The italicized text are the thoughts. The letter 'A' before each thought is the anxiety, and the 'R' stands for the rational thoughts, the ones that are often overpowered and/or ignored.
Situation: You've just texted in your group chat with twelve people, "Anyone wanna hang?" It's been thirty minutes, and no one has answered.
R: Why haven't they answered? I know I said something dumb, I must have. Is it because I couldn't hang last weekend? Am I too boring? Probably, I barely ever talk.
A: Idiot! Talk more.
R: But I always say the wrong things.
A: They have good reason to hate you.
R: Do they really hate me?
A: Of course they do! You're nothing.
R: I just want them to like me. Why don't they like me?
A: Face it. You aren't funny or interesting.
R: I think I'm funny.
A: You're not.
R: They're probably just busy.
A: No, they aren't.They don't like you.
R: Why not?
A: Because you're you, idiot!
R: Oh God, why won't they just answer?
A: Why would someone honestly answer you? Like you? Hang out with you? Nobody likes you because you're so damn annoying. You don't contribute anything worthwhile.You're the weak link. The one they keep around because they'd feel bad if they dumped you. They don't really like you. Never did. Never will.
R: ...I know.
Ten minutes later, someone answers, "Sure! What time?"
Another, "I'm down for whatever."
Of course, they were just busy after all. They like you. They want to hang out with you. You aren't boring or annoying. It's okay.
But...
A: It's just for show. They don't like you.
R: But... but I want to hang out with my friends.
A: They don't want to hang out with you. Stay home. It's safe there.
R: I don't want to.
A: Yes, you do. It's better this way.
R: You're right.
You text, "Nvm, I'm busy." You aren't busy. But there's too much at stake when it comes to leaving, hanging out with those who don't like you. You wouldn’t have fun, anyway. They don’t like you, anyway. No matter what you really want, you can’t escape the fear that surrounds you.
**This does not detail all types of anxiety, only social anxiety. Not everyone deals with the same kind in the same way.**
