Everyone has the ability to make their own choices. Their choice of what they want to eat, what they want to study, what they want to do with their life. Sometimes, someone you love is probably not going to make the right choice the first time, the fifth time, or the hundredth time. It sucks when you see someone make a decision you know they’re probably going to regret. But haven’t you done the same?

So what do you do? Well, nothing. You can give your advice, because it’s important to be honest, but learn to understand that you can’t force anyone to grow. Think about yourself. How many times have you given advice to others, but not been able to take it yourself? How many times have you heard “I’m not good at solving my own problems, but I am better at giving advice.” I think everyone has said something like that at some point in their life.

I know that I will sometimes make the wrong choices, even if I have already foreseen the upsetting outcome. This includes little things, like staying up too late when you know you have to be up early. Or something bigger, like going back to a friend that you know is no good for you. Sometimes, you have to make a mistake a certain number of times until you realize that you’re stuck in the same cycle, and nothing will change until you decide to make a change.

Everyone will make mistakes. So will you. As frustrating as it is, take it as it comes and don’t be too hard on others or yourself. It’s never comforting to see yourself or someone else make the same mistake over and over again, but it’s all in the cycle of life. People aren’t always going to learn immediately, because they aren’t going to change until they are ready. It’s like walking on hot sand until you realize your feet can’t take the heat anymore.

Sometimes the trigger of change is something tragic. Sometimes you will feel like you are ruined, weak, and you’re unsure of how to move on. But some people need to be kicked off their horse and fall into the pain to realize how their decisions got them into the mess that they are in. As painful as it is, it is still a growing experience and can turn into a life-changing lesson.

Pain and discomfort is necessary to grow. It’s like your new kitten or puppy who keeps playfully biting at you as their teeth start to come in. The uncomfortable states of puberty when your body is in a weird transition. Or when your shoes get too tight, because you were a size 6 two months ago, but you’re a size 7 now. Life works in weird ways. Sometimes plans work out as you would like, but sometimes life is unpredictable and will trip you right when you feel like you’re doing great in the race of life. But life isn’t a race. It doesn’t matter how fast you got a job, or how fast you learned to love yourself, or how fast you were comfortable enough with your financial assets so you can retire. It’s different for everyone, and sometimes it’s not fair.

There is no real answer on how to live life right, because every individual’s experiences and reactions are different. Even if there were a book on how to live life right, how accurate would it actually be? It’s like giving someone a form of advice so they can avoid the mistake you made, but the right choice for one person may not be the right decision for another. Everyone lives a different journey. Some parts are happy and some are sad, but all of it combined is a roller coaster in itself. So while you’re on it, take it for the ride. Cherish the better moments, and remember the lessons, they’ll come in handy someday.