If You've Ever Thought You Could Change A Guy For The Better, You're Wrong — But Not Alone

If You've Ever Thought You Could Change A Guy For The Better, You're Wrong — But Not Alone

You can't change people, you can only hope they change themselves.

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PSA: Listen to the song "Boys Like You" by Anna Clendening before (or after) reading this because it's AMAZING and it's literally describing what I experienced in the relationship I'm writing about here!

Now that I'm 19 years old and have been in a few relationships, I've learned that no matter how hard you try, you'll never be able to change a person unless he/she WANTS to change. It's sad but true. I like to see the good in people...who doesn't?! But it gets hard to see the good when you get attached to someone who is doing more bad than good.

When you've known someone for six or seven YEARS, you realllyyy get to know who he/she is as a person, what he wants in life, etc. And when you get attached to him, grow to love him (for all the good and all the bad), and fall...hard...GIRL, you're already risking getting hurt. But you don't even care because all you're thinking about is what he's doing and when you're going to see him next.

In my experience, I grew to love this person for all his strengths and all his flaws. The feelings that I developed for him lasted throughout high school and were always lingering even through all the lows. It's natural to still feel strongly for someone even after they've disrespected or betrayed you. You're normal! You have feelings! Everyone does. So don't think to yourself "Jesus why am I such an idiot for being so hung up on this person after what they've done to me..."

I'm aware that personally I'm a very emotional person and I wear my heart on my sleeve, yet I still find myself crying at the end of the night over someone who isn't crying over me. Can you relate? LOL.

He told me everything I wanted to hear and I believed every word...

He treated me like a complete ass sometimes (and I just let it happen), talked down about me to my best friends (idiot, but I chose not to believe it), and then kissed me like I was the only girl in his world (and made it all better).

I now realize that in high school there are some people who are looking for a relationship to last, but the MAJORITY of high schoolers just want to mess around with several people and not be so serious. That's just how it goes at that age and if you're in high school reading this right now, just accept it. SORRY!

That's exactly what I went through and I've learned so much from it. I experienced so many amazing highs but so many horrible lows. It was like a roller coaster of emotions. When I was with him I felt on top of the world, but when he was off hooking up with other girls a night or two later, of course I felt hurt. No, we never dated, we tried but again he didn't want anything serious and he knew that I did and got intimidated...but everything happens for a reason.

And the feelings were still there, even when I dated other people!

We both have problems of our own and things to figure out, but if there are two things I could share with y'all about my experience, they'd be: don't force something with someone who isn't CRAZYYY about you back (and doesn't care to show people how much he truly likes you), and don't waste your time with someone who tells you what you want to hear but isn't mature and ready to match his actions to his words.

You won't understand until you fully experience it, and once you do...just know that it definitely hurts but the hurt will disappear once you realize letting the person go was the best decision for YOU.

And IF you reunite with that special person in years to come, hopefully, they decided to change for the better. The world is full of possibility.

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Why I Spend So Much Time With My Boyfriend

And I love it!
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Many people think that spending too much time with your significant other is a bad thing. I think that wanting to spend time with them is a blessing. Don't get me wrong, we do not spend every waking minute together. We make sure that we save time for our friends and family, but in the end, we cherish our time together.

He brings out the best in me. When I first met my boyfriend, I knew he was something special. I didn't know what it was, but I knew that it would be important someday. I found out that when I am with him, I am an all-around happier person. I look at things in different ways, and I now know a whole new world of people. He has helped me overcome obstacles that have been holding me back for quite some time.

We enjoy each others company. I can't even begin to tell you how many times we have just sat in silence simply knowing that you are in the company of someone who loves you is comforting. He makes things that would usually be boring a lot more fun. When we do homework together, he makes the work seem like it's not work, and things like a simple trip to Walmart ends up being a comedy show.

We are best friends. Many people say that they are best friends with their significant other. For us, it's true. I can tell him anything. There is no hiding things in our relationship; we come right out and say what we want to say.

He pushes me to succeed. Whether it is with weight loss or homework, he holds me accountable. When I start a new workout, he keeps me on track to be whom I want to be. We make sure that we put homework before going out and that helps us in the long run. Giving up that pizza can be easy when you are spending time with someone you love.

He makes life seem not so hard. College can be hard and make life difficult. It seems that I always have something new happening or another meeting to attend. When I get stressed or overwhelmed, he makes sure that I take the time to put into perspective what really matters and focus on that. And when that fails, we go get McDonald's.

He supports me. He has never once told me that one of my ideas was stupid or out of reach. Whenever something new comes up that I think would be exciting, he is the first one to rally behind me and let me know that it is a good idea (even if it's not).

I love him. Love is a strong word, but I can honestly say I have never felt like this before. Between everything that he does for me, I do just as much for him simply because I love seeing him happy. Spending so much time together isn't hard to do because we love each other. If somewhere down the road we decide to split ways, I will still love him and he will still love me. That will never go away.

Cover Image Credit: Hanna Hartman

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Is Social Media Killing Romance?

In a modern era filled with technology, are the communication outlets we rely on destroying our ability to connect?

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I have always been a girl that has been stereotypically obsessed with romance novels and movies. Honestly, I enjoy the concept of romance in and of itself. I have always dreamed of a passionate, deep romance of my own complete with a meet-cute, dates, and affection. However, it seems as though the concept of romance has skewed dramatically as social media continues to flourish.

So many romance movies are shifting to acknowledge how time-consuming social media is in teenagers lives. Even so, social media seems to be such a minuscule part of the relationships while, in reality, social media outlets tend to be a major form of communication in our society.

It seems as though our entire lives are digital and relationships are no exceptions. Meeting people the "old fashioned way" is almost obsolete now thanks to dating apps and other mediums of communication. We seem to be taking away the basis of relationships; intimacy and connection.

Additionally, social media has been detrimental, especially pertaining to self-esteem and self-image. Social media allow self-scrutinization to become the norm. Comparison is almost a reflex while scrolling through social media so why would romance and relationships be any different? Social media can create ridiculous expectations for relationships. Apps like Instagram are a media for sharing the best of your life, so everyone seems to have a perfect life on there. These expectations and comparisons seem to be a deteriorating factor for relationships.

Another phenomenon that I have noticed, thanks to social media, is that meeting people is easier than ever. This is not a bad thing per se. However, since it is so easy, it seems that all the effort is gone. Flirting with someone who "slid into your DMs" is exponentially easier than flirting with someone in real life. Apps like Snapchat, Twitter, and Instagram are simple methods to communicate and therefore, our communication has become simple.

Hookup culture is another thing that has become increasingly popular with the rise of social media. According to statistics, correlation does not imply causation but, at least to me, it seems that there are entirely too many aspects in common for them to not be related. Since communication is exponentially easier, so have "booty calls." Late night texts. or "snaps" have diminished the chase and allowed for actual relationships to be foreign to our generation.

In conclusion, social media has provided us with an unbelievable amount of benefits. However, it also may be draining our generation of connection and emotion. It seems as though social media has driven us into an age of simplicity and complacency.

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