PSA: Listen to the song "Boys Like You" by Anna Clendening before (or after) reading this because it's AMAZING and it's literally describing what I experienced in the relationship I'm writing about here!
Now that I'm 19 years old and have been in a few relationships, I've learned that no matter how hard you try, you'll never be able to change a person unless he/she WANTS to change. It's sad but true. I like to see the good in people...who doesn't?! But it gets hard to see the good when you get attached to someone who is doing more bad than good.
When you've known someone for six or seven YEARS, you realllyyy get to know who he/she is as a person, what he wants in life, etc. And when you get attached to him, grow to love him (for all the good and all the bad), and fall...hard...GIRL, you're already risking getting hurt. But you don't even care because all you're thinking about is what he's doing and when you're going to see him next.
In my experience, I grew to love this person for all his strengths and all his flaws. The feelings that I developed for him lasted throughout high school and were always lingering even through all the lows. It's natural to still feel strongly for someone even after they've disrespected or betrayed you. You're normal! You have feelings! Everyone does. So don't think to yourself "Jesus why am I such an idiot for being so hung up on this person after what they've done to me..."
I'm aware that personally I'm a very emotional person and I wear my heart on my sleeve, yet I still find myself crying at the end of the night over someone who isn't crying over me. Can you relate? LOL.
He told me everything I wanted to hear and I believed every word...
He treated me like a complete ass sometimes (and I just let it happen), talked down about me to my best friends (idiot, but I chose not to believe it), and then kissed me like I was the only girl in his world (and made it all better).
I now realize that in high school there are some people who are looking for a relationship to last, but the MAJORITY of high schoolers just want to mess around with several people and not be so serious. That's just how it goes at that age and if you're in high school reading this right now, just accept it. SORRY!
That's exactly what I went through and I've learned so much from it. I experienced so many amazing highs but so many horrible lows. It was like a roller coaster of emotions. When I was with him I felt on top of the world, but when he was off hooking up with other girls a night or two later, of course I felt hurt. No, we never dated, we tried but again he didn't want anything serious and he knew that I did and got intimidated...but everything happens for a reason.
And the feelings were still there, even when I dated other people!
We both have problems of our own and things to figure out, but if there are two things I could share with y'all about my experience, they'd be: don't force something with someone who isn't CRAZYYY about you back (and doesn't care to show people how much he truly likes you), and don't waste your time with someone who tells you what you want to hear but isn't mature and ready to match his actions to his words.
You won't understand until you fully experience it, and once you do...just know that it definitely hurts but the hurt will disappear once you realize letting the person go was the best decision for YOU.
And IF you reunite with that special person in years to come, hopefully, they decided to change for the better. The world is full of possibility.
