This one goes out to all the people who think they will fail in their life. Fail as in never make it through high school or college, sports that are difficult, tests they dread, and so forth. I was one of those people for two years. Sometimes I’m still that way, but for those first two years, specifically my freshmen and sophomore years of high school, I was that person that doubted everything about myself. I was wrong to doubt myself and you are too. You can make it! You can do this.
My story goes like this… I started high school excited with my head held high. It took me two days before I was dropping classes, changing teachers, crying, panicking, and dreading every moment I thought about school. I began seeing a therapist and it still wasn’t helping. I wanted to check into a facility for my anxiety. I wanted to be on medication, I wanted to do online schooling, I wasn’t eating because of my nerves and I went from 115lb down to 95lb. I was only 16 years old. I told myself I couldn’t do it. I truly believed I would fail out of high school. I continued to do this for two years until my junior year when I realized I was so close to the end and I decided I was going to go to community college because again I never thought I’d make it at a university.
I graduated high school in 2016. I had made it. And even better, I continued my education at a university! Bet you didn’t see that one coming. Well I didn’t see what came next. I was so thrilled I had made it and decided to take a new life at a four-year college. Two days into it, I fell back four years’ worth of steps. I told myself I couldn’t do it. I told myself I couldn’t live away from home going to school for all these years. I begged my parents to let me come home and take the semester off and go to community college in the spring. They were willing to let me do that, but they were disappointed I let myself fall back like this.
I was an interior design major and I lacked the ability to believe I could do it so I dropped everything and I became undecided in my major. I was furious I let myself fall back to a place that made me hate myself. I continued pushing through and began doing stuff for myself. I wasn’t picking a major or making decisions based on anyone else’s influence but my own. As my story does not come to an end, but a “to be continued,” I am about to finish my first semester at my university where I will be declaring Health, Wellness, and Fitness as my major, something I myself want to do, and I’m looking for houses to rent the following year.
Who would’ve thought I would’ve pushed myself back to where I was when I left high school. I’m so excited to watch myself grow and fall more in love with my decision to stay here and do what I want with my life. I still see my therapist, but not nearly as often and usually our sessions consist of us chatting and laughing and catching up rather than me talking about my stressors because every day I make myself lose one of them. I relax and let God take over.
So whoever you are out there that is doubting yourself, stop now! YOU CAN DO THIS!!! You can make it!!! Today is the day you stop doubting your ability to succeed! Whatever your path is, you got this. Have faith in yourself and in God and you will accomplish anything!
