Love: noun, \ˈləv\
1. strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties
2. attraction based on sexual desires; affection and tenderness felt by lovers
As a college student, it's hard to find anything other than the second definition. Let's be real, millennials live in a world of Tinder, Bumble, and drunk hook-ups. I can't remember the last time I was asked out on a date before I was asked to "chill." For some, this takes the pressure off of dating - they don't have to worry about meeting the parents, following strict gender roles in traditional dating, or it's easier to handle that first interaction. For others, this is heartbreaking. I fall in the second category. Over 40% of Millennials believe that it's harder to find love now than it was for our parents, and I think hook-up culture is to blame. When we're spending all of our time trying to have no strings attached relationships and find the next person to bring home, we aren't getting to know anyone. A lot are even losing themselves in the process thinking that hooking up is the only way to receive any sort of love.
I challenge this.
One of the song lyrics that has stuck out to me in the past few years is from Fall Out Boy's "Save Rock and Roll." The chorus of the song begins with the line:
"You are what you love, not who loves you."
As I've maneuvered the dating scene on a college campus, I've found this to be true. For many people, they place their self worth in their relationships with others and whether or not they're alone. This shouldn't be the case.
Never sacrifice your desire for love because of the societal norms surrounding you. If you're not comfortable with casual hook-ups, don't do them. If you want a traditional relationship, hold out and find one. Your self worth should not be depleted because you think you have to conform to society.
If you're really looking to fall in love, fall in love with everything around you. Fall in love with your friendships. Fall in love with your studies. Fall in love with that one song that comes on the radio and makes you want to dance. Fall in love with that favorite sweater, that favorite album, or that favorite lipstick. Fall in love with the way the stars look on clear nights or how the sun rises outside of your home. Fall in love with your family and fall in love with yourself.
You don't have to have a partner to love yourself. I have gotten more out of the love I have for my friends and our experiences than I ever had from a relationship.
You have forever to find your one true love, why limit yourself to the future when you can fall in love every day with what is around you and what makes you happy.
Find your clique, fall in love with them. I am so beyond thankful everyday for my handful of friends who have taught me how to love unconditionally, trust fully, and grow as an individual. Without them, I would never be able to open up to someone new. I have fallen in love with their wit, intelligence, and generous souls every single day. They have given me enough love and support to make it through the darkest of times and I wouldn't want to keep anyone else around.
When you don't like something, don't do it. You do not need to support a culture in which you don't believe in. If you can't fall in love with a significant other, fall in love with your friendships. Fall in love with yourself. Stop waiting around for love. Reject the second definition and make your own.
