2:02 a.m. I hear my phone ringing. Who is calling me so late? Is it an emergency?
I turn around, see who is calling, and answer it. "Hiiiiii, give me attentionnn." I can tell by his voice that he is not sober, and has been partying the whole night, but struck out.
This is to the boy who thinks I will always be in his corner as a "backup." Not even a, "how are you," because it's all about him. Even if we haven't talked in weeks or months, the desperate phone call always comes in one way or another.
I am not going to lie and say I always denied giving this boy attention. My friends grew angry when they would find out the way he would treat me and talk to me, yet I still did what he wanted. I felt as he had me on this cord which I couldn't break free from. Until the other night, 3:15 a.m., the FaceTime came in.
I thought to myself, "maybe he wants to talk about something serious, usually late at night people become vulnerable."
Nope, I was wrong. He became vulnerable, but not in an emotional way. After months of my friends saying "I deserve better," and "Stop thinking of yourself as less," this one night changed it all. I finally found the courage to say, "No." Then, he proceeded to say how mean I was, therefore, I decided to hang up.
He kept calling and calling, non-stop. I declined each call and fell asleep. The next morning, he didn't say anything. In all honesty, I never asked him if he remembers doing what he did because he would either deny it or he actually didn't remember. As I said, it was always after a night of partying.
I hate to say that boys think they can play around with girls like we are things and they can have us whenever they want, but that needs to change.
We need to come to terms with "we deserve better" and we will receive better one day. Don't let them get to you and in your head. Your time is not worth it. One day you will always be there for a boy, but they, too, will always be there for you. Don't settle for less. You are not their dog. They can't just throw a chew toy and expect you to come back.
You are not a rebound girl.