One of the first things I tell people about me is the fact that I am from the sea. Strange, I know, but very true. I left the beautiful island town where I grew up and went 200 miles south to a strange place I had never heard of. I decided I would live in that strange place, reside there for the next four years of my life, while I attempted to find myself. I’ve been in that place for two years now. I just can’t believe that it’s taken me this long to realize that in an attempt to find myself, I ended up losing the purest part of me. I have removed myself from the ocean.
It really is hard to describe exactly how the sea makes me feel. In a way, I think I was spoiled as a child; I was born into the beach culture, and I never really knew anything else. My whole crazy family loved going to the beach, and maybe that’s why I love it so much… It symbolizes family for me. Before I was even in school I was learning. The ocean was my teacher, and I learned more about life from the tide than I ever could from a textbook. My cousins and I are well versed in the ways of the world and understand both its beauty and its power. The ocean taught us that.
The ocean was my solace when I was upset, and my comfort when I was lost. Whenever I felt as though I couldn’t find myself, all I had to do was sit on the sand for a few minutes and I was back. I’ve gone for too long without my security blanket. I long for the rush of salty air on my skin and the brisk breeze of the island at night. I want to be able to lie down and watch the stars because I haven’t seen them at all in this new city. I’m almost starting to forget what they look like. It’s been only four months since I was last at home, but I am becoming empty again from the lack of the sea.
This year I have felt the emptiness more than ever, as I felt the humid Maryland breeze in April and I felt myself longing for the salty breeze of New Jersey. Of course, I had to do what any other 20 year-old girl would do; I got a tattoo. Honestly, it didn’t fill the void. It made me happier, that much is true, but I quickly realized that nothing but being back home can truly make me feel better. Unless you live on the water, you don’t really know what you’re missing. And if I’ve learned anything from my decision to move away to go to school, it’s that I’m never going to leave the ocean again.
