Many have told me that life is a journey. But how do you realize what journey you are on? There are certain events that line up to influence where one’s journey will take them. When I started my undergraduate degree at St. John Fisher College in Rochester, New York, I did not know what was ahead of me.

I am an individual who has suffered from anxiety all of my life. My anxiety most strongly reflects on my academics and my well-being. I have a huge fear of failure. I want nothing more than to be successful so that I can do good for the world. I would get down on myself many times because of this; on top of academics during my freshman year of college, I was trying to figure out my personal life, and what I would later stand for. Some people got in my way and made me feel negatively about myself. I also let personal illness get in the way of my success. After a great first semester of college, my second semester was horrible. I let the best of me get erased by these obstacles.

But the summer between my freshman and sophomore year of college, I had an awakening. I was just sitting down, reflecting on what had happened in the last few months of my second semester; I knew then that I could no longer let anyone or anything placed in my way, distract me from who I really was, what defined me, or my successes in college. I created a schematic plan to help myself become more successful. I signed up for counseling services at my school and went to bi-weekly sessions. I also took advantage of all of the resources on campus to help me to garner further success.

Besides all of these steps, I quit all of my jobs off-campus. I realized that being on-campus all the time is vital for my personal success. I got involved in many clubs and organizations on-campus, as well as two on-campus work study jobs. All of this has helped me to better my time management, and engaged me in becoming a part of my campus community. These adjustments have pushed me to pursue an interest in my campus community, and not just attend all of my courses, because I know now that this is the place I was meant to be a part of. I love my college so much for all of the opportunities it has given me thus far. I can confidently say I would not be who I am today without it.

While reflecting upon this narrative, there are key points that I feel would be important for those reading this to understand about college, and about life:

1. Life is about the people you meet and how they affect you.

Everyone who you encounter in your life, good and bad, helps you to learn, and to grow stronger as an individual. To those you have met and feel were a waste of your time: they were not a waste of time. Even if they had no immediate effect on you, they have helped to define expectations you have of those who belong in your life. You need to put your guard down, and be open to anyone who decides to talk to you. Embrace those who pursue your time and attention, and embrace those who make you feel at home. Be open to everyone and do not deny yourself opportunities because of fear.

2. “Hold on and make it last, hold on and never turn back.” - Taylor Swift

Make every moment last in all that you do. Before you know it, freshman year is over. One of the biggest things I miss is freshman year, partially because I wish I could go back and do certain things over, and partially because I had a lot of fun. I learned so much about myself, and made so many memories that I now can never do over again. I had awesome roommates, and during tough times, we all were down to earth about things and really helped each other out. The second part of this quote, “[…] hold on and never turn back,” defines how to look at a given situation. “Hold on,” for the journey that lies ahead of you, because it will be better than the past. But don’t turn back, because if you don’t look ahead, you’re going to be stuck dwelling on the past and all that there is to enjoy ahead of you will fly right by.

3. Stop worrying so much about financial barriers.

This is a concept that is difficult not to think about for far too many. I worry so much because I go to a private college and tuition is very high there. But this worry can cloud your mind and distract from your ultimate goals, which are to graduate and make a career for yourself. You will pay your loans off someday, no matter what. You just need to make sure the career path you’re on has a job market that is likely to employ you right out of college. There are so many options available to help you pay off your debt in the future, that you shouldn’t have to worry until the time comes. Work hard now and have fun, the rest will be there when you’re done. Get a student credit card and be responsible with it, too; there are resources on college campuses that will help educate you on how to use it. Lastly, a credit card is important for two reasons. The first is that if you can build a good credit score at a young age, you will not have a difficult time getting a house, apartment, or vehicle in the future. The second is so that, in case of an emergency, a credit card will give you the option to pay for it and give you the ability to pay slowly. Yes, you will accrue interest, but if you have a student credit card, the interest rates are usually lower than they would be otherwise. Having a credit card isn’t as scary as adults are making it out to be, if you know how to be responsible with it. Adults typically make it out as scary because a lot of young adults like ourselves go haywire with their first credit card.

4. Have fun, be wild, and go out.

For the record, I am not condoning underage drinking, or any unhealthy life choices when I say this. But if it is not against your will, or your personal beliefs, go out and party! Do this if you’ve had a long week, and finished all of your work. I know people who go out just to be social; I know people who go out to listen to and dance to music, and I know people who go out to be with friends. There is nothing like a college party, and once you graduate, you will not have as much time to go out anymore, so live it up while you can, and be safe!

5. “Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.” - Henry Ford

As I stated before, failure is my biggest fear in life. I came across this quote during a time when this fear was prevalent in my life; this quote is saying that failure is not permanent. It gives you new opportunities to start over from different viewpoints. For me, when I fail, I implement new strategies that will help me understand concepts more diligently, so that I will not make the same mistake again. This quote has given me a new outlook on life. This quote has made me calmer, and helped me to develop a new aesthetic for my work and all of the other things that I do.

6. “Strength doesn’t come from things you know you can do. It comes from overcoming the things others thought you couldn’t do.” - #50 Quentin Gause, Rutgers University

This is one of the only other quotes I find pertinent to my story. It is a quote stated by the Rutgers University linebacker, Quentin Gause, who is also a graduate from my high school, Bishop Kearney. I believe that personal strength does not come from the things that you already know and can do. It comes from being able to work diligently through great obstacles, such as difficulties in your academics, and thus be able to gain new perspectives and accomplish things that did not seem possible to you, prior. Personal strength is like lifting weights: if you keep lifting five pound weights, you will not get stronger. You will maintain the same “muscle” (skills) that you have always had and not gain any new, bigger ones. But if you challenge how much you can lift gradually, and be consistent in your workout ethic, you will gain muscle mass and your body will become stronger and stronger.

I hope that, in my writing, others will take advice from my experience. College is a huge part of the American experience, and it is hard to be prepared for it. But please, do not be just a bookworm. Explore and try doing different things; be hands on. Meet as many people as possible and make the most of all of the things that happen to you on this journey. Good luck, and stay positive. Doing so has done wonders for me!

(Words from a good friend, Tom Burt.)