Last weekend was a total whirlwind of everything happening at once. As a mom who is also a full-time student and holds down multiple part time jobs, I sometimes wish I had a few extra of me (or at least someone willing to help me, with no expectations of anything crazy).
However, something crazy did happen:
I was moving last weekend and at the same time, I was getting both my son and myself ready for our first day of the fall semester of 2016.
We went to Walmart. Oh, what a disaster that was, and of course I had to buy half the store that day….
Well I decided to take a cab home, since I could not carry all those groceries and school uniforms home myself. The cab comes pretty quickly, and I brace myself for what is to come. You never know what you will get when you take a cab here in the city. Unfortunately, I do not own a car, so I have to take my chances.
I open the door, and right away I hear “Hey Ma, what’s good? How you been?”
Ugh…Shit…. Can I just run over to the other cab now?
I can’t. My son has already begun loading up the cab with my groceries and Rubbermaid totes. Surprisingly, my son finishes loading the cab up pretty fast, and we are already sitting in the cab eagerly awaiting the arrival to our new apartment.
“Haven’t seen you in a while," the Big Pun styled cabbie said.
“Yeah. I’ve actually been pretty busy. You know being a mom, and working, and now, starting school again.”
My son chimes in and says: “Yeah, my mom is too busy for you…we are too busy actually.”
The cab driver laughs.
I can’t tell you how many times this cabbie has tried to hit on me. He is not too fond of the fact, that yet again, I am denying his advances. Tough shit. I bet ten bucks he isn’t even single.
The cabbie turns to my son at a red light, and says: “If you could describe your mom in a couple of words, what would you say about her?”
My son hesitates to answer, then smiles and says, “My mom is the smartest, kindest, most patient person I know.”
The cab driver looking confused, says: "No…let me rephrase that for you, and I will ask your mom instead: We are both big people…How is it that you have so much confidence?”
Suddenly, it was as if you could see smoke pouring out of my ears. My eyes lit up in shades of red my son has never seen before. I have never held as much restraint from my tongue speaking its own set of words as I did that night.
Think calmly and rationally Amy….calmly and rationally Amy…
I repeated that over and over in my mind, tossed it around a few more seconds and then….I responded:
“Why shouldn’t I exude confidence? Is there a problem with how I carry myself, or is the problem that I have actually denied your advances every single time, and you are butt hurt over it? Since you are taking too long to respond to these questions, I am going to go right ahead and assume exactly what I thought."
1. I am confident because
At 33 years old with an 11 year old child, I am in college as a non-traditional first-generation college student and almost ready to graduate.
2. I am confident because
I left an emotional and physically abusive marriage after enduring that pain for six years. I left with nothing, and today, my son and I have not just what we need, but more than what we need.
3. I am confident because
Despite all the obstacles I have faced, I managed to rise above it, and obtain leadership positions in school, which includes president of the student senate, founder and president of my club Coalition Against Domestic Violence, and vice president of the Parent Club. Not only did I obtain leadership positions, I also obtained scholarships (about seven), and multiple awards such as the 2016 Newman Civic Fellow Award.
4. I am confident because
I learned that I do not need a significant other to be happy. That it is totally OK to be happy and be single. It is totally okay to love your own company.
5. I am confident because
All of the experience I have been aggressively pursuing has led me to this point in my life, where I can write about an incident like this, and be totally OK with it.
6. I am confident
...sharing my humility with you all, because I know that this only benefits everyone I come in contact with. It helps you to feel more connected to me.
7. I am confident because
At this point in my life, I have been through so many humiliating positions and situations that nothing phases me, and nothing that you or anyone else says to me, can change how much CONFIDENCE I exude to others.
I am God Damn Fabulous
...and I am strong. I may not be skinny, and that doesn't mean I don't want to change that, but don't judge be that! Judge by the size of my heels and how well I walk in them while I run (OK maybe lightly jog) circles around you!
There is absolutely nothing wrong with a woman being confident in her own skin and showing everyone else how confident she can be.
I hope you never ask another woman why she is confident, and if you do, I hope she turns around and smacks you up the side the head, with the same amount of confidence that I did, until you get it and it sinks in, that beautiful is not all that a woman can be.
