You know those nights you're sitting alone in your house, thinking about how you could be sharing that night with someone special watching a movie together and sharing snacks, but then you just continue to shove as many tiny pretzels into your mouth whilst streaming Netflix? That's how I am most of the time! As a matter of fact, I am even watching brother bear right now (great film, 10/10). I have always been open to people about my stance on being single; I don't really enjoy it but even so, it is a lifestyle I have learned to live with and accept. Now in my point of view as someone who generally exists in this frame of life, here are some things that I enjoy about it so far.

So I've been alive for like what, twenty years I would say, and in those years I have been by my lonesome for a vast majority of the time. At first as a youngling, I was always upset that I wasn't in a relationship until I got into one. Once I got into one I was about as clueless as an old man going to Starbucks for a Schnitzel. But as I got older I tended to appreciate the little things such as time, money, and maybe some emotional stress. In terms of time I was never good at attempting to find that precise balance between spending time with friends/family and my significant other but all this time without that extra piece makes me appreciate them much more. And not only that but I would have more freedom to talk with them and meet with them more to better understand them and build better relationships.

With the money thing, oh boy, sometimes I wonder how that would go if I was in a relationship. I will be honest in saying that I am a sucker for satisfaction so I am guilty of paying for a meal or movie ticket every once in a while. Now listen here kids, Joshua has not been on a date for quite some time and let me tell you that was quite the buck I spent. These days I only spend my money on two things; gas for my car and food for my belly! Only saving grace for me is that I have a job but even so, holy moly does that hurt my wallet going out like that. Am I cheap, probably yeah but I am also in college so I am constantly balling on a budget.

With all of that comes the part I usually don't talk about that much but is very true nonetheless. Emotional Stress. I will be very honest in saying that I am a very emotional fragile person, and above that, I cannot handle change well. I thought that wasn't true but when I moved from Maryland to North Carolina that took quite the toll on me emotionally. So things like these can have an effect on me as well. Break-Up's usually mess me up the most because it takes a while for the damage to take effect. At first, it's like "okay this is fine, it's happening. Accept it and move on". But then when reality starts to hit that's when it starts to hurt (for me at least). Now I'm not trying to scare anyone away from dating and all by saying this. If anything what I do want to say is that if there is anyone who is like this as well, it never hurts to just take a step back from the whole dating scene. At the end of the day you're in charge of what's best for you and if you need to take a break then you do you.

Like I have said before, I have been single most of my life. I don't exactly enjoy it but I'm in it, I'm living it, and that's okay. I have found things outside of that which I enjoy through my friends, my family, and even through media like television and video games. Sometimes in life being by yourself is the right move, and at my stage in life, I feel like it's the right move for me. In life, you always have to make choices that are the best for your development, even if that choice isn't your first. But until that changes, I'm gonna be in my room watching every episode of Breaking Bad whilst eating this delicious bag of Cheetos. Rant = over. y

p.s. Valentine's Day is alright if you're willing to buy chocolate for yourself