We all have our own lists. You know what I'm talking about. It's the list of things we don't like about ourselves. These things that we say we want to change but never actually can change it. Maybe you want to spend less money or you want to lose 20lbs. Maybe it has more to do with personality traits. Maybe you want to be more caring or less angry. We all have those things that we just want to change about ourselves. And while those lists aren't the greatest things in the world, they are not something we should be ashamed of. I bet that if we shared them and started working on one thing at a time, maybe those things would move off the things we hate list and onto the things I love list. So without further ado, here is my list.

I am a control freak.

I like to be in charge and I like to plan everything. Whether it is a quick trip to the grocery store for the week's necessities or a big Christmas haul, I have to be in charge and I have to plan it out. I will most likely have a pad and pen in hand because I am a control freak that likes to be overly organized. I have this need to write it all out because if something is written down on paper, it can't possibly go wrong. I I like to be in control of everything that way I know it will get done and it will get done correctly. The correct way is usually my way.

I am unexpressive.

I am not one to cry with you when you are down. I won't jump up and down to celebrate with you when you get good news. I am not one to yell at you when you did something stupid. I am not heartless. I feel sadness and excitement and anger, I just don't express them as easily. One reason I don't express my emotions is simply because I don't know how and when I do share, I feel uncomfortable. The main reason I come across as unexpressive is because I am afraid of looking weak. It probably goes back to my control freakiness. I don't want to be the person that cries all the time. I don't like to express my emotions because if I do, I feel like I have lost control.

I am pessimistic.

They say I am a dream crusher or that I am a negative nelly. Really, I am a realist. I am all about dreaming big and having great aspirations as long as they are in the realm of reality. I am a realistic person. I am not going to sit around dreaming about what I know I can't do. My goals are big, but they are realistic. Every goal I set, every aspiration I have, I know I can get. Some may be difficult, but they are achievable. I will never be disappointed because I dreamed of something that was impossible to reach. So maybe that sounds a bit negative and depressing, but it is something I have been working on.

I am inconsiderate.

This is basically an outcome of my previously mentioned traits. In addition to being an unexpressive, pessimistic, control freak, I am also rather judgemental. People, like my friends, say that I speak without thinking. But that's not it, I think it all through. I think everything through because I am controlling. I have run through fifteen different scenarios in my head of how the conversation could possibly go, basically because I want to control it. Then I say what needs to be said and what they need to hear because I am realistic. I will not sugar coat my words, I will always tell it to you straight. Unfortianaly, what I think needs to be said comes off as cold and harsh because I am unexpressive. Since I don't often express things like extreme joy or sadness, or anger, everything I say comes off as either sarcastic or just dry. So, I am inconsiderate which is something I hate about myself because I would like to be thoughtful.

I am vain.

Being confident is a beautiful thing, and I have confidence in heaps like I am borderline conceited. I believe I am almost always right and I usually tell people that I am. I know I am beautiful and no one can tell me otherwise. Basically, I am the best and I make sure people around me know, over and over again, to the point that people start to hate it. I am confident in school, I am confident is my choices, I am confident in my life, and I am confident in myself. Don't mistake my being an introvert for uncertainty. I love my confidence, I hate that maybe I'm too confident.

I can think of tons of things I hate about myself. I'm lazy, I procrastinate, and recently I have developed an obsession with white chocolate Reeses's. But I am more than all of these traits. The list of things I love about myself is much longer than the list of things I hate.

I love my sense of humor, I love my hair (most days), I love my style, I love my passions, I love that I am loyal, I love that I am responsible, and I love that I love myself and I love that I am working on all the things I don't love.

You see, all of us have parts of ourselves that we don't love. Whether they are habits, physical attributes, or personality traits, it is important that our love list is always longer than our hate list. We need to stay focused on the things we love about ourselves, a bit of love can go a long way, and maybe one day we won't lists because we will just love ourselves completely.