Hey. Pssst. College student. Overtired adult. Workaholic friend.

There’s an urban legend you should hear about. It’s pretty new, very 21st century. Trendy. You’ll relate to it.

It goes like this: sometime between the creation of the Universe and now, human beings deemed certain standards and accomplishments the holy grail of living. These standards included getting a degree (not necessarily in something you’re passionate about), finding a “normal” job afterwards, and working until you’re 60 in order to live the rest of your days out comfortably.

The humans, smart and beautiful and capable as they were, started telling themselves that nothing was more important than the standard. They sacrificed sleep, meals, relationships, even true joy, to fit the mold they thought would bring them happiness.

Their days were long, nights longer. They worked tirelessly to get that last assignment done even though they were sleep-deprived or sick, to prove to everyone they could do it even though they were screaming inside. They did things beyond their means because they believed that if they didn’t, they would amount to nothing.

And they lived happily ever after.

Does that ending sound right?

The urban legend is this: somewhere along the line, someone decided something else was more important than their [health, family, friends, love, sleep, nutrition, passion, dream, calling], and they gave everything to that something else, and it brought them everything they needed.

Let me tell you, friends, why I believe such thinking is a myth: you were made to be a human being. Nothing more, nothing less. And so you must not treat yourself like a robot— or like a superhero. You must treat yourself like a human. You must treat yourself like a loved one. Because you are a Loved One.

Running ourselves into the ground is not admirable. I do not believe it is honorable to be destroying yourself for the sake of doing well in school, or getting a promotion, or to make life easier for everyone else. None of us is the Savior of the World. We cannot do everything. And I think it is arrogant to believe that we have to sacrifice our wellbeing in order to achieve something. I do not have the power to do it all— and I shouldn't try.

That’s why we breathe. We take it one step at a time. We do what we can, and we work hard, but we don’t let ourselves become slaves to some kind of system.

We cannot afford to let ourselves slip through the cracks.

The root of most stress is the belief that the thing we are afraid of will hurt us. But let me ask you, what’s going to hurt you more: the homework assignment you have to get an extension on, or the belief that your failure to meet the standards diminishes your value as a human being?

I get it. I'm there with you. It's taken me a long time to come to the belief that my own attempt to do it all is a superiority complex, to come to understand that my desire to be involved in everything and to try to save the world on my own is actually presumptuous, because I can't do it all, and I'm not supposed to do anything alone. We cannot give ourselves responsibilities that are impossible, unattainable, and unhealthy.

I think life will be a constant mess of reminders— of putting myself in my place and reminding myself that I only have the capacity to be me— and me is pretty rad.

There is work to be done, and it's necessary. But it should be done well. I really think we're gotten to a destructive place where we've let the system come to define us instead of defining the system ourselves. The world needs to be changed, and I'm not sure exactly how that's going to be done, but it's not by your lack of energy or health.

The hurting world needs us to be healthy in order to do our very best to change it. And you're not your very best unless you're treating yourself well.

It is fatal to our humanity to believe that any action is more important than caring for our own selves. It is not compassionate to jeopardize your own welfare for the sake of anyone or anything. Humanity desperately needs our care, but you are a part of humanity too.

Get it through your head that you matter, and start living like it.