Eating healthy, for some reason, can be really, really difficult. There are so many sugary, trans-fat filled options tempting just a bite, especially on a college campus. It’s incredibly easy to be unhealthy.

And it’s also incredibly easy to have an unhealthy mindset about health.

I feel like a huge part of why people diet, or watch what they’re eating, or pay attention to health in this day and age is actually centered on appearance. People want to lose weight because they want to look better, to alter their shape and physical image to fit some visualization or goal they hold in mind that they believe will make them finally be happy with themselves. And there’s nothing wrong with that— I admire people so much for working hard, holding themselves to a level of determination and commitment in order to reach whatever goal they have set for themselves.

But it should definitely be about more than appearance, right?

At least from personal experience, if I’ve tried to eat better or to “be healthier” from a place of unhappiness with my own body, it’s only led to shame. Shame that drives shame: shame I feel about my appearance leads to shame whenever I’ve failed to “be better,” shame when I don’t ever reach the ideal because whatever I would’ve liked to look like just isn’t possible.

Now, this is my story. And everyone is different, everyone’s experience is different, and body image is definitely very real and causes very tangible and real effects on the mind and walk through the world.

But I think if there was greater focus on actual health, it would make all the difference. If it wasn’t about looking better and meeting a certain standard of beauty— if it was about being good to your body— that in itself would be mind-healthy. And how we treat our bodies should be the priority, right? That body that takes care of you, the cells that work tirelessly, day and night, to heal and to keep you alive— those cells deserve your care.

Eating well is important because our bodies need certain things from us, and I think that’s what our minds should be focusing on when we set out towards eating better and exercising. It’s more about listening to your body and the nutrients it needs, the conditioning it needs, to be at its healthiest.

That’s what’s going to bring you the most energy. That’s what’s going to have you functioning at your physical best, which definitely affects your emotional state as well. That’s what is legitimately good for you.

Not the dieting that takes vital nutrients away, not the watching what you eat that sucks away all your energy and joy. Not the over-exercising that leads to burn-out and exhaustion.

Balance. We need some balance.

I’ve learned a lot about health from going to acupuncture this past year and learning more about how the things I eat affect different systems in my body, and are subsequently reflected in different telling physical signs, such as fatigue, acne, etcetera. Our bodies are really, really cool. And they’re built to function a certain way. We need to listen.

And I think that is honestly going to lead to a much better, happier lifestyle than constantly worrying about appearance. Eating healthy and living a more healthful way, for the sake of being healthy, will most likely lead to changes that will lead to a more joyful sense of wellbeing anyways.

I just want us to be good to ourselves, friends. Be good to you. I’m trying to be good to me.