If I get asked one more time, "When are you having children?" I am going to scream. Last week, I finally just answered, never. The shocked look on their face summarizes my current feeling on children.
I am 21, engaged, and about to graduate. This should be the most fun time of my life. Why are people so focused on my ability/want to procreate? I have never been the woman that dreams of little ones running around my house. I dream of being a successful, independent woman with an awesome career and maybe a couple dogs.
You know what? That's OK. Actually, that is more than OK. My worth as a human being should not be based on becoming a mother. I have so much more to offer. It is 2018. This is the time of strong and intelligent women making a positive impact on the world.
If you choose to be a mom, awesome! I give you a lot of credit. Being a mother is hard. Being a mother does not mean you aren't feminist. It means you are doing what makes you happy, and I respect that. Please respect my choice not to procreate at the moment.
I know the next comment is usually "you'll change your mind." Maybe I will want kids in the future. Maybe I will have 20 dogs. Who knows? Please stop trying to push me into a life that I do not want right now. There are more important opportunities (to me) that I want to take right now.
Ladies, please know that you are more than your ability/want to procreate. If you want that life, go for it. If you don't want that life, there is nothing wrong with you, even though society continually pushes you towards children.
When someone asks about your future children, happily say you look forward to your career or whatever makes you happy. You are enough. You do not need children to validate your life.
Also, don't shame women who want to have children. Feminists often degrade women who choose the housewife life, and that is not fair. Feminism is the fight for equal rights for men and women. It's not a fight to tear apart other women. If we are going get equal rights, we will need to do it together.
