When our Odyssey team and community was asked to share the best relationship advice that we've ever gotten, everyone had their own great advice which they had been given by family and friends. Relationships can be very rewarding and fun, but they can also be very stressful. When wondering about the quality or status of our relationship, we often lean on family, friends, and online articles to determine if we are with the right person, and what we should look for in a person. Hopefully, this article can give you some helpful tips on what to look for in a relationship.
1. "Marry the kind of man you want you son to be like." -Natalie
When looking for a man, he should resemble the type of man that you hope your son would grow up to be. Caring, respectful, loving, goal-oriented, etc. If you wouldn't want your son to be like the man you are dating, then there's a problem there.
2. "Date your best friend." -Jülide
When you think of best friends, you think of people who spend a lot of time together, are basically a part of each other's families, share similar interests, and accept each others' differences. In a relationship, the person you're dating should be your best friend. The person who you want to tell your good news to, who you go to for emotional comfort, who you know you can depend on and trust.
3. "Find someone who makes you laugh." -Gianna
Relationships are not always about romantic gestures and going on dates. You should be with someone who you can be you whole, complete self. When you're stressed, or sad, having someone who can make you laugh without taking away from what you're going through is important. Life is too short to be serious all the time. You don't want someone who never lets loose or tells you stupid jokes. In my opinion, if in a relationship we can't be goofy and ugly laugh with each other, then I don't want it.
4. "Trust your gut!" -Gianna
Sometimes you have to learn to trust your gut the hard way. In my experience, my gut has been right every. single. time. I've tried to deny it and then ended up hurt. If you feel uneasy in something, or completely confident, understand that often your body can sense other people's true intentions better than your mind can. With your head, you tend to overthink and are capable of making things appear better or worse than they are, but with your body there are no "what ifs." Listen to your gut.
5. "Don't stay in relationships that are unhealthy..." -Gianna
"...Don't stay in relationships you are unhappy in because you're afraid you won't find someone else or you're afraid to be lonely." You are often unable to leave an unhealthy relationship for many reasons. One, you know the person so well, they know you, and you don't want to have to get to know a brand new person. Two, you are scared that you won't find another person who loves you as much as we love them. Three, you don't want to be alone. See getting to know someone new as exciting and a fresh start. You will find someone, and chances are a new relationship will be better than the unhealthy one you're currently in. Don't be afraid to be on your own, you are great company.
6. "One day someone is going to break your heart, and it will hurt bad, but don't take it out on the next someone. -Will Smith." -Trentyn
Heartbreak is inevitable. Whether it's a broken relationship or even, friendship, it's going to hurt. Knowing that someone doesn't want to be with you is painful. After being hurt, you may think that love isn't real, that the person is suddenly a bad person, or that everyone else you meet is going to hurt you. The hardest, but most crucial, part of a break up is letting it hurt and then not letting that hurt affect your future endeavors.
7. "Protect a piece of your heart for yourself." -Hunter
Do not let all of your heart be consumed in the person you are dating. Your self-love is just as important as your love for that person. Tuck away a piece of your heart so that if things don't work out, you know that you are still loved, by you. Most importantly, remember that you don't need anyone to complete you, because you are already whole.
8. "When the right person comes along you will be enough for them and won't have to do anything to 'keep' them." -Me
Listen, when someone truly wants to be with you, they will be. When someone is truly into you, you will know. When someone truly cares, you will feel it. Dating isn't supposed to be so complicated, but sometimes we make it that way because we make excuses for the person we're interested in. When someone is right for you, they will stay because you're you. So don't worry about keeping anyone, because if they don't want to stay they can't be kept.
9. "Love will find you when you're not looking for it." -Maggie
You never know when you'll find someone. It could be in a coffee shop, a bookstore, a sporting event, one of your classes, at a restaurant. For me, I find it really exciting that the person who I end up loving and sharing a life with is out there, somewhere. It makes life more interesting. It makes each day a day of possibility. Let people find you, it'll happen. Stop searching, live your life, enjoy where you are right now.
Like Taylor, a writer on our Odyssey team, says, "It happens unexpectedly!"
10. "Never settle." -Anon
If you think that you always need to be with someone, you're missing out on being with you. When you find someone you want to date, make sure that they are truly who you want to be with, and not just someone to fill a hole.
The overall message from these pieces of advice is that in order to have the best relationship, whoever you're with should have good character, should know your worth, and should be someone who you feel comfortable with in any situation. You don't need to actively search for this person. Love happens unexpectedly, no need to rush it. If your relationship doesn't work out, you don't need to become bitter or cold. Keep your mind and heart open-- one day it will be worth it.