The world is full of winners and losers. And let's be honest, most of us are losers.
Like any good-natured American, I hate losing. My family is highly competitive, which is evident by my siblings' prowess on the soccer pitch and the rapid fire wit I see at family dinners. I like to win, my family likes to win, and we expect to win at everything we do. The Smith clan is very goal oriented.
But losing is inevitable. You can't always be the winner. While I accept that "being a loser" is part of reality, I have a hard time accepting failure. One of the greatest tricks I ever learned was how to be a gracious loser.
In the face of failure, the first obstacles I tackle are the disappointment and my pride. It is perfectly acceptable to mourn your loss. In fact, I encourage it. Showing sadness or anger over a lost goal shows your dedication and sincerity. When I see athletes or musicians or mathletes brush off a loss, saying "I don't care," I do not think they're "strong." I think they lack passion.
On the other side of that coin is your pride. While you can spend a day crying over a loss, it is just as easy to deny your own failure. Blame it on the referees, claim that the competition was rigged, or that you were sick and couldn't perform - you refuse to own it. On occasion, these excuses may ring true. But usually, the winning team is the better team. They wanted it, they trained for it, and they were better.
And that's okay! They were just better that day. You can also train for next time and want it more the next time you compete. This is the most beautiful aspect of being a loser - the opportunity for growth.
Now, I say the "opportunity for growth" because it is up to you. YOU must decide how badly you want the win. YOU must decipher your loss and pick out the needed areas of improvement.
It's exciting! You are motivated by the promise of "next time." Visualizing that sweet, sweet victory encourages you to push for that next rep, to nail that arpeggio, to complete those eight fouette turns or to solve one more difficult equation.
Some may ask, "What if there is no next time?"
It was the high school football playoffs of your senior year or your last year to qualify for a state pageant or your only chance to win a collegiate scholarship competition.
I agree, losing once-in-a-lifetime, last chance goals is the pits. There will be no "next time" for that exact contest. And this is where maturity steps in to save the day.
Possessing the ability to appreciate what you've gained is equally as important as appreciating the win. All the training, the determination, the skills you honed on your journey to the goal - you get to keep those, regardless of who takes away the trophy.
You shouldn't stop trying because you hit a wall one time. And on the day you clear that wall and WIN - that doesn't mean you can stop. You have to get a new goal!
Shouldn't the best day of your life keep happening over and over again?
So brush the dust off when you fall down and go back to the drawing board when you've hit the top. There is more success to be had and more amazing days to be lived.
