I am a glass half full kind of person. Always look on the bright side. The grass is greener where you water it. Those sort of things. I am optimist to the bitter end (no matter how much of a semantic discrepancy that is). But sometimes, even for me, nothing can be felt but blinding, gutwrenching disappointment. It’s a natural, albeit hateful, manifestation of loss, but the kind of loss where you’re never sure if you had it in the first place. Disappointment is setting your standards where you think they deserve to be, showing them to people, and having them dashed in front of you. Disappointment, excuse my phrasing, blows. Hardcore. It’s going to hurt, and bad, for a little bit. Here are some ways to make that hurt a little less raw.
1. Don’t take it personally.
This is a hard one because how can you help taking something as poignant as blatant rejection personally. But, as much as we’d all like to think we can do everything, there are some things that we just may not be a good fit for. Take a deep breath, roll your shoulders back, and realize that there was someone who just made a little more sense than you did. And go for the next one (step, person, job position, goal) with as much fervor as you did with this first one.
2. Be rational.
I hate that word. I hate being rational. It sounds so pretentious. Sit down, Annie, please. Be rational. I prefer to live with my head swirling in the clouds, or buried in the sand, thank you very much. But as much as I hate to admit it, rationality is sometimes very much necessary. Sometimes envisioning dreams of grandeur can hold you back from real life possibilities. Let go of what you think you should be or what you ought to be, and just be who you are. This alone can send you back to the real world and closer to success. I have officially reached my self-help threshold.
3. Get angry and use it.
My beautiful, mouse-eared, former-roommate is a hot head. Straight up. She gets pissed and she wants someone to answer for it. Not in like a vengeful, best served cold kind of way, but in a take charge kind of way. I have watched her many a time resolve issues of her own disappointment spurred by dim-sighted rejection through perseverance and a sheer ‘don’t take no for an answer’ attitude. This will not work all the time, or for just anybody. But with just the right disposition and self-determination, you’d be surprised how many disappointing ‘no’s will turn into accepting ‘yeses’.
4. Learn from it.
What could have possibly happened during the situation for it to end how it did? Was it something you did? Was it something that they did? It’s going to be hard to reflect on something that still may be fresh, but it could help in the future. Go back through the details and refine for later use.
5. Be thankful for what you do have.
Just like it says on the tin. Be grateful for what you already have. Striving for something more is what makes us human people, but remembering and loving the things we have is what makes us good people.
In summary: swallow your pride, grovel a little bit (maybe with ice cream), get motivated again, and get back out there. Fall down seven times, get up eight and all that good stuff.
