I’ve been casually re-watching "How I Met Your Mother" for a few months now on Netflix, and I just got to an episode in season six titled, “Baby Talk” where Ted tells Robin that she didn’t make him feel “needed” while they were dating. This is after Ted goes on a date with Robin’s co-worker and Robin tells Ted that he is only into her because he comes off as a “big strong man.”
That reminded me of a conversation I had recently with someone I dated, where they told me the exact same thing. After telling them why I didn’t understand why so many girls were attracted to the macho "alpha male-who-spends-way-too-much-time-at-the-gym-type" (think Chad from the Bachelorette), they told me that I can come off as “too independent” and how that probably scares off most guys. He also told me that most guys are “looking to date girls that need that big strong man figure.” (After telling me that, he covered his tracks and told me that that was one of the things he liked about me, but that’s another story for a different day.)
While that statement seemed like a gross over generalization of the college aged male population, I realized he was right. And just how wrong that is.
I’m 20 years old. I shouldn’t “need” someone anymore. I’m way past the days where I need assistance with daily tasks such as opening doors or paying for food. If I want something, I’m going to get it myself. Even if that means I have to work for it, or wait a little while until I achieve the means to get it.
I don’t “need” a man in my life to kill the spider I find in my bedroom at night. I don’t “need” a man to pay for my food at restaurants. I don’t “need” a man to fight my battles for me. While I may appreciate it when these things are done for me, I certainly don’t need someone to do them.
I’m a strong and independent woman and I’m not going to dumb myself down to appeal to the college-aged male population, in order to get a date. It’s terrible that in this world where women have come so far (though we still have room to grow), that men still prefer us when we come off as helpless objects that need them.
Being independent is a good thing. It shows that you’re able to make decisions on your own, and are capable of solving your own problems. While other people may need to wait for someone else to get something done, you can do it yourself. Being independent is something to be proud of, and more women should embrace it.
