If you ever browse the internet, which I’m assuming you do if you are reading this, you know that it is filled with quotes and inspirational or relatable thoughts. Like the ones on a white background with bold black letters, or sometimes the ones with a fancy photo overlaid with cursive writing. These can most likely be found on Tumblr or Facebook. I, as a lover of all things inspirational, often read all of these, sometimes pondering about what they mean and sometimes simply scrolling down to the next item on my feed. There was one I saw, on a white background, that caught my attention recently and made me think about it. It said: “I’d rather struggle every day of my life than to ever give a man the power to say ‘you wouldn’t have that if it wasn’t for me.’” I half agree with this statement and half think I disagree completely with it and here is why.

I agree with it because I know the intent behind the message. What it stands for is independence, and I support that completely. Women should feel as though they can be independent and stable on their own without needing a man in their life, because women do not need a man in their life to have everything they want. They are perfectly able to work hard and get things done by themselves and should not feel they need to seek out a man to do something for them, especially if that man does not treat them well. This also goes for men (as I am for equality of the genders) in that they do not need a women to do everything that they want to do in life. I think that they message of this quote was that we can all be independent and that no one can stop us from doing what we want if we work hard for it, and I love it for that.

But I also could not help thinking that I actually would want to one day look at my future husband and say that I wouldn’t have this if it wasn’t for him. And that is not a weak statement. I would also think that my husband would say the same to me. The difference is is that the statement I read used different words to give a negative connotation that would mean the man is overpowering the woman, and saying that she only has certain things because of him. But in reality I’m really hoping that me and my future spouse will be able to say that to each other, not in an overpowering way, but in a way of love, that we would not have the blessings of life that we have unless it was for each other giving it to us. I want to be in a relationship where my husband and I can give each other things in life (not talking about material things, but greater lessons of life and love) that we would not have without each other.

So yes, I believe in independence and that we can all work hard on our own and should never feel that someone is overpowering us in a bad way, But I also believe we should not be afraid of having someone give us something we couldn’t have without them, cause we may just do they same for them.