All too often I see articles floating around the web written by people looking for some type of self-validation as to why they're single. Some of the excuses are valid, and some aren't. I'm not going to sit here and come up with a list of reasons why I refuse to date. I don't have a list of reasons. I just enjoy being single. I have one short life, and I want to make the most out of it for myself rather than spend a huge chunk of it worrying about someone else's wants and needs. Selfish? Probably. Do I care? No.
Then there's this: I woke up to two sorority girls this morning at 6:00 a.m. I went to my 8:00 a.m. class, came back to my apartment, and they're still sleeping in my bedroom. As in right now. As in I'm sitting in my living room typing this piece, and two girls are waiting for me to come back to bed. I'm not sure if they have anything to do today, or if my bed really is just that comfortable.
One other thing -- both of them have boyfriends.
What do you want me to say? Do you want me to lie and tell you that I'm sorry? I'm not sorry. If you want to get angry with me for being me, that's fine. I have no shame in who I am. I respect women, and I don't find my behavior abnormal.
"But Joey, if you respect women so much, why do you behave this way?"
This is a question I'm asked primarily by the women who look to date me, to change who I am at my core. I don't have an answer. Not one they want to hear, anyway. I'm a 24-year-old guy living in a college town, next to a bar that's filled with some of the most beautiful women in the world on a nightly basis. It doesn't take much imagination to figure me out, folks.
Also, refer to the second paragraph of this piece. I woke up next to not one, but two cheating women this morning. Do I really need to explain how this factors into my decision not to date? If you need me to, find some other way to contact me about it. I'm not going to bore the smart readers this site gathers with redundancy.
There is no correlation between being single and having fun, and the amount of respect I have towards women. None. Zero. I can do both. Anyone can.
"So how do you manage this?"
That's easy. I don't go out with the intention of bringing someone home. Most nights I go up to the bar I have a few beers, come home alone and go to sleep. Some nights a woman approaches me in the middle of my beer. Last night I was approached by two.
I don't invite them to come home with me. I wait for them to ask what I'm doing later in the evening. In my experience, this shows women that you're not hell-bent on taking things fast. It shows you're not out for the sole purpose of taking someone home with you. It shows you're not high-maintenance, clingy or creepy. The moment a woman thinks you need her is the moment she either tries to take advantage of you or gets scared off by your own desperation. Be yourself for you. Not for her.
"You're gross, Joey. You should change."
Hey, guess what? I'm not going to. Not until some woman comes and blindsides me and sweeps me off my feet. Not until I meet the right one. Not until I find the one that makes me want to settle down.
And I'm not gross. Radical feminists can go ahead and find all the problems they want with me. Should they be angry with me, or the two girls that found their way into my bedroom last night?
And to the boyfriends who will eventually find out I'm the one their girls are spending their evenings with: be mad at yourself. Not me. Take it up with your girlfriend. Clearly there's something awry with your relationship.
Or you could just be single, have fun and make the most out of your life. I do, and it's worked out pretty well so far. The moment you force something is the moment you diminish life's joy.
