Your twenties are meant for being busy, finding yourself, and never, ever sitting down. Your twenties are meant for disappointment and heartbreak and failure. Your twenties are meant for plane tickets, cities, and adventures with the people you choose to surround yourself with. Your twenties are filled with being broke but making the best of it. Your twenties are meant for adventure and smiles and finding people who feel like home. Your twenties are confusing, but if you do them right, they're going to give you the best years of your life.
Knowing what this exciting decade should entail, it's so easy to wonder, "am I doing this right?" "Am I where I'm supposed to be?" "What can I do to make sure that these are the best years of my life?" And while we're meant to figure these answers out on our own, asking people who have been there and done it will give you some of the best lessons and advice that you could've ever asked for.
I asked adults ranging from 25-70 years old, 'what is one thing that you would go back and tell yourself at 20 years old if you could?' And the answers I got are better than I could've ever imagined:
1. Don't sweat the small stuff
"I would tell my 20-year-old self that you don't have to have everything figured out, and it's okay not to know your destination in life. Set small goals, work hard at achieving them, know you will make mistakes, but learn from them and don't dwell there. Save money if you can, cherish your friends and family and realize that we are all responsible for our own happiness... don't look to someone else to do that. Keep an open mind, recognize you don't know it all, get involved, and embrace your inner superheroes!
2. Be patient
"I wish I could go back and tell myself to have patience. Think about everything in life that was disastrous— because I wasn't patient."
3. Be healthy
"I would tell myself to never start smoking and to eat healthy and watch my weight my whole life."
4. Follow your dreams
"I would say 'Go to college so you can take care of yourself, to be able to stand alone if have to. Follow all of your dreams and don't be afraid to reach for them.' You may not make it but you can say that at least you tried."
5. Don't rush through life
"I wish I could tell myself not to be in such a hurry to grow up. When I was young, I always thought there were time limits to when things needed to happen. College, marriage, and kids. I wish I would've enjoyed all that my 20's had to offer and realize sooner that those limits meant nothing. I would go back and spend the time traveling and learning about myself before dealing with adult decisions like marriage and children."
6. Save
"I would tell myself that it's never too early to start saving for retirement!"
7. Friends before all
"I wish I knew that no relationship is worth losing friends over. Ever."
8. Don't overlook the person right in front of you
"I wish I knew to marry my best friend. The person who was there through everything I went through, the person who knew how I felt by the look on my face, and the person that made me laugh harder than anyone else. So many relationships fail because without a friendship, you can't be a team. Don't settle for someone unless they truly are your best friend."
9. Be financially responsible
"I wish I would've been wiser with my money."
10. Don't chase people who don't want to be caught
"I wish I could tell myself that if an individual wants you in their life, male or female, they will find a way and make room for you. Don't chase someone to be in your life, it should be an honor for them to be in your life."
11. Do it for you
"I want to tell myself not to do things because 'the world' thinks it's what you should be doing. Do something because you really, truly want to."
12. Everyone's going to let you down
"I wish I knew that at some point everyone will let you down or disappoint you. Maybe unintentionally because they're going through a hard time. No one is perfect and everyone makes mistakes. Forgive, let it go, and know that you only have control and responsibility for your own thoughts and actions and how you handle the situation. You still have to look in the mirror every day. Be the reflection you want to see!"
13. Go to college
"I wish I could say 'go to college now. Don't wait, it just gets harder.'"
14. Let yourself feel
"I wish I would've known that it is both a blessing and a curse to feel everything so very deeply. When you're 20, you think you're invincible and tough. Not a whole lot of people are empathetic when they're young. It's okay to be compassionate. It's okay to identify with all sorts of people from different walks of life. It's okay to be a good person."
15. Resiliency is inevitable
"I wish I knew sooner that it's okay to get yourself out of a toxic situation or relationship – no matter how far you are in. You will always bounce back and learn from your experiences. It will not be the end of the world."
16. You have every right to be happy
"What advice do I have for the 20-year-old me? She must stop moping about enduring a future of unhappiness, stop listening to the family advice to just make the best of it, and to stop accepting emotional abuse as the norm."
17. Get over it
"I wish I could tell myself, 'If it's not going to matter in 5 years, don't spend more than 5 minutes being upset about it.'"
18. Live
"I wish I could tell myself to live in the moment, enjoy it. You are never going to get the time back with your friends and family. When you graduate college, start a career, settle down, and find a family, relationships change. The people you were once close to have done the same and now you only see each other a few times a year. Take the time now to travel across the state to visit your friend in her dorm, take the time to go on vacation with your family instead of working or thinking you're too cool."
19. Family first
"I wish I would've spent more time with family. Each minute is precious and when you lose the ones we love, you may regret time you may have wasted."
20. Stand out
"I wish I could go back and ask myself 'why try to fit in, when you were born to stand out?'"
21. Love yourself
"I wish I could go back and tell myself to stop hating my body. I wasted so much time with being obsessed with hating my body. I thought I was so fat because I was a size 12, but the stereotypes told me I needed to have curves like a Barbie doll. I would give anything to go back and get that body again. Youth passes too quickly. Stop wasting time with self-doubt, self-hatred. Love yourself, believe that you are worth taking a chance, taking a leap, going for your dreams. You will miss out so much if you waste your time trying to be perfect."
22. The words "you can't" mean nothing
"I'd like to go back to talk with my younger self and tell her to stop listening to all the "you can't" from people. Don't rush into change. Stay single. Keep your full-time job. You are intelligent and will find a way to follow your dream of going to college to be a nurse."
23. Debt is not a joke
'I wish I could tell myself not to go into debt trying to live! Credit cards are not the answer to your financial problems, they will only hurt you in the future. Live within your means."
24. Dream
'I wish I could tell myself to stop selling your dreams short. Don't be afraid of failure. I wasn't afraid to try new things and I discovered I was actually good at quite a few things, but that's where I stopped...at good. I never pushed myself to be GREAT at something. I wish now I would've taken the leaps, taken the chances, risked failure but followed my dreams."
25. Self-care, self-care, self-care
"I wish I could tell myself that self-care is the purest form of love you can give."
26. Moms are the best of friends
"I wish I realized so many years ago that no matter what anyone says or who comes in or out of your life, your mother is your best friend. She has loved you since you were born. She loves you as nobody else will ever love you. It is a pure, unconditional love that you will never quite understand until you have the chance to give it yourself."
27. Mind your own business on you
"I wish I knew what other people think of you is none of your business. Live life for you, not the validation of others."
28. Your dreams are most important
"I wish I could tell myself 'Follow your dreams! Don't settle because of some guy!'"
29. Invest
"I wish I could tell myself 'work hard and save as much as you can as fast as you can and invest it so you don't have to work for your money later on, your money can work for you!'"
30. Grass isn't always greener
"I wish I knew that the grass isn't always greener on the other side. I wasted so much time looking at what other people had, only to realize that they don't always have it better off."
31. Take the time
I always heard the saying, "Time is money" but I wish I knew that it's much more valuable! You can make more money but time can't be replaced! Spend time with your loved ones, learn as much as you can and help others in need. Tomorrow is never guaranteed and its not about what you get, but what you give!
32. Don't burn bridges
"I wish I knew then that you can't hold grudges and do not burn bridges. I learned the hard way that you never know when you might need someone and if that bridge is burnt, turning back from it is very hard."
33. What you do now affects the later
"My 20-year-old-self advice: Measure the advice you receive from others and weigh what's best for you. Realize that by making a small investment while you're young will make tomorrow happier when you're older. He needs to understand that the poor decisions he makes will be a burden in his entire future. It's easier to invest in your future when you're young than to try to fix poor decisions when you're older."
34. Set goals for YOU
"I wish I would've made goals for myself and not someone else."
35. Hug your parents
"I wish I could go back and tell myself to value my parents because you never know what the future holds. You always think you'll have more time, but life doesn't work that way."
36. Don't rush
"I wish I could tell myself not to hurry through stages of life. Enjoy life and what it has to offer and preserve your innocence. Take your creative mind and run with it!"
37. Others won't define you
"I needed my younger self to get to know who he is before he lets others define who he is. And don't be in such a rush to get on with life. Just because you're intelligent doesn't mean life will be easy; you're not going to have people lining up at your door to hand you great opportunities. You have to work for them, hard."
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