Let’s face it, we’ve all been in a place where we get so comfortable in a relationship that we start to just go through the motions instead of truly enjoying our time with our significant other. We may not even realize it at first, but the lust, the feeling of wanting to be in their presence as often as possible, or even simply wanting to hear their voice whenever you can because it serves as a personal uplifter for you, begins to fade. Or maybe you even find yourself making little excuses when you start to feel distant like, “Oh, I’m just going through a slump, I’ll get over it” or you’re so annoyed with your boyfriend and convince yourself it’s just PMS (until you realize PMS doesn’t last six months).

One of our biggest flaws as humans is how terrified we are to leave our comfort zones. We would rather be comfortable in a relationship we know we’re deep down miserable in than to leave our comfort zone and be alone. I’m going to take you through three of the biggest fears you probably have or have had when it comes to leaving your relationship and show you how empowering overcoming these can be.

1. Fear of being alone

So you’ve been in relationships on and off your entire life and you have NO idea how to be alone. Having that comfort and validation from another person has been a part of your everyday life for so long, how would you overcome having that every day support? Let me tell you, being alone is AWESOME! Being alone gives you the time to focus on yourself and to not have to worry about anyone else while you do so. You can learn so many things about yourself by being alone that you would have never been able to learn being stuck in a relationship. When you’re in a relationship, you have to constantly be focused on another person, this can be extremely dangerous because you can absentmindedly lose parts of who you are in the process while being so focused to make your significant other happy all the time. Bottom line is: you have to love yourself before you can ever love anyone else. You can’t live life depending on another person for validation, because if a day comes where they’re gone, you’ll be miserable. I learned so many things about myself from being alone and I’ve never been happier, you can do it, too!

2. Fear of leaving your comfort zone

Leaving your comfort zone is absolutely terrifying. Whether it’s pursuing a new job, putting yourself out there to try new things, or where I think this is most relevant, leaving your relationship. It’s sad, but we often get so comfortable with our significant other after a long period of time that we subconsciously become dependent on them for numerous reasons. We get so comfortable and so dependent on our significant others after a long period of time that we would rather stay in our comfort zone and be miserable than leave. Neale Donald Walsch once said, “Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.” This quote is so inspiring and so true. There are so many amazing things waiting for you outside of your comfort zone that you can never find unless you LEAVE IT! It’s so cliche but so true, life is way too short to spend in your little box of comfort. You can’t fully live your life without first leaving your comfort zone. There are way too many amazing opportunities awaiting in life for you to stay stuck in your comfort zone. I know it’s scary and easier said than done, but I promise it’s so worth it.

3. Fear of possibly losing “the one”

First off, if your significant other really was “the one”, you wouldn’t be second guessing if you should be with them or not. Relationships aren’t meant to be complicated and if yours is, kick it to the curb. Relationships are supposed to be there to uplift you and ease stress from your life, not to create it. Also, think of it this way, if you’re stuck in a relationship where you’re second guessing if he or she is “the one” or not, you could be missing out on someone amazing because you’re so scared to leave your comfort zone… and I don’t know about you, but the possibility of finding true love is worth the risk of possibly not finding it at all to me.

Bottom line is, we’ve all settled before. Maybe not necessarily in just relationships, but in other aspects of life, too. You just get so comfortable in a relationship that you start to go through the motions. Settling in any aspect of life can be extremely dangerous, you never ever want to look back thinking “what if”. I know it’s a lot easier said than done, but I know you can overcome these fears and I hope this helped you do so. Namaste!