I was warned not to work in retail but being the young know-it-all I was at the time, I assured everyone that I would be fine. I was wrong. I've never been one to shy away from hard work, so naturally the actual working aspect of retail didn't bother me, it was the customers. I am dead inside from my nine months working in retail, so here is a montage of every type of customer guaranteed to make an employee cringe.
1. Creepy parents.
In many cases I didn't have to deal with the target audience for the store, but the generation above them. Between moms who thought I'd be perfect with their son -- who they just had to show me pictures of -- and old men, I assumed to be fathers, that actually were just trying to hit on me. One time, I was told I had a "nice belly button." That was the first and last time I ever wore a crop top to work.
2. Customers that can't tell time.
Nothing makes an employee sweat more than the customer who walks in 5 minutes before the store is supposed to close, just to hold up the entire process so that they can ruin all of the cleaning the employees have just previously done. I'm sorry, is your watch slow? Because we closed 10 minutes ago, and you're still here -- weird!
3. Don't hit on me.
I am paid to be here. I was paid when I said hello and asked how your day was as you walked in. That does';t mean I want your number. This is my job, I can't even walk away from you in this scenario because then my boss will think I'm not helping customers and I'll probably get screamed at in the back so, please please please hit on someone who can walk away from you.
4. Children.
This one is self-explanatory -- kids are just the worst. You're too young to be wearing these clothes, none of them will fit you yet -- wait a few years! Also stop ruining everything in your path, just don't touch anything.
5. Preteen girls.
Take your Starbucks, Uggs and blue eyeshadow out of this store immediately. All you do is look at jewelry that you won't buy because you don't have any money because you already spent the $10 your parents gave you when they dropped you off. Then you proceed to pick up every item in the store to take a selfie with and, yes, I can tell when you purposely angle it so a co-worker is in the background -- or I am -- thank you for that!
6. Mess makers.
The type to walk through and tear apart the store without even thinking about buying anything. These customers will go into the depths of the store and ruin displays that haven't been touched in days just to irk me.
7. Bargainers.
I am a teenage girl -- does it look like I control the price of that shirt that you want? It is beyond my comprehension when customers try to argue with me about the price of clothes. My job is simply to clean the store and ring up customers, I'm not even allowed to leave the store without being searched by a manager. I have no power! If you want to debate the prices go to a yard sale.
8. "It doesn't have a tag so it must be free."
Wow, good one! Very original! Just take it! You deserve it after that clever joke that must have taken you hours to come up with.
9. Customers who believe in the back room.
The belief that there is actually more clothes and variations of sizes in the back is the equivalent to believing in Santa Claus. Merry Christmas!
10. Extreme couponers.
It's company policy that we can only do one transaction on a sale. Please don;t try to convince me to ring you up five times so you can over use our sales! Personally, I couldn't care less but it's not up to me -- please don't try to kill me later.
11. Animals.
Were you raised in a barn? Why do you think that you can just try on clothes in the middle of the store? Keep your shirt on, please! We literally have changing rooms for this exact reason.
