Earl Sweatshirt says in his song "Chum," "Too black for the white kids, and too white for the blacks." Growing up, especially in high school, I was disregarded a lot among my peers because of what I associated myself with, the way I dressed, the way I talked, the music I listened to and much more. To simply put it best, I was declared "too black" for the white kids and "too white" for the black kids. I was a castaway, and my friend group consisted of other people who felt just like me. These are reasons why I was put in that group.
1. My music choice.
Growing up, I listened to a variety of music, ranging from Drake and Jimi Hendrix to Waka Flocka and Blink-182. I always thought it was important to have different taste in music to broaden your horizons. People around my age for the most part only listened to one kind of music, whether it was strictly country or strictly rap; it was one genre, and that usually left me in my own box with few others.
2. My clothing.
High school helped me evolve my fashion taste immensely. I was very diverse with my "swag". I would go from Hawaiian shirts, cut-off jeans and a pair of Jordans to Ralph Lauren polos and a pair of Sperry's. This was very different from the True Religion and baggy jean trend my peers followed, it was also unorthodox from the typical Vans and skinny jean combo that most of my other peers wore. Me being me, I learned not to care, because whatever I wore was my decision, not theirs. But it still baffles me why my clothing changed my ethnicity.
3. The way I talked.
Growing up in the Bay Area was a nice experience, because given the fact that the Bay is extremely diverse, everyone uses the same lingo. The words "hella," "boof" and "fasho" were in everyone's vocabulary, but the difference was in the delivery. The way you said it made you, and I guess from the way I talked, I sounded "too white." I guess me adding the words "dude" to my sentences every 45 seconds instead of the n-word made me sound a little white.
4. My hobbies.
As a teen, me and my friends were heavily into skating, I might have not been as good as them, but we all loved it. Skateboarding was seen as something white kids do, and that boxed me in a little, but I also played basketball, volleyball and produced music. Crazy how what I chose to do in my free time influenced what ethnicity I was!
5. My inability to dance.
I was an awkward dancer all throughout high school. My peers on my basketball team were all blessed with rhythm. At school functions and other social gatherings, my teammates would be dancing on girls with no problem whatsoever, while I was awkwardly standing in the middle of the circle, doing my best Carlton impersonation. My teammates always made fun of the fact that I was one of the few black people that couldn't dance, putting me in the white side.
Overall, this is just a humorous interpretation of my time in high school and the troubles I had fitting in, or fitting out, if you will. My experiences taught me how to be my own person and to not worry about what anyone says and to always be me.
