Greek life was the first thing on my list when searching for a college to go to. I needed to be a sorority girl, that wasn’t even a question. I had competed in beauty pageants for the past eight years and multiple people told me how great I would be in a sorority.  I had to do it. When I came to Mizzou, recruitment week hit me with handfuls of singing, Lily Pulitzer, monograms, Tory Burch, Vineyard Vines, Michael Kors and a whole lot confusion.     

I thought recruitment would be easy compared to a pageant. I didn’t think I had anything to worry about, I had nice clothes, countless recommendation letters and a positive attitude. Apparently, just like pageants, recruitment isn’t always what it appears to be. No one told me it would be filled with never-ending days, lots of tears, blisters on every part of your feet and extreme jealously for girls who want the exact same thing you do.  

So two months after recruitment, I think I have finally figured out how beauty pageants and sorority recruitment are alike. 

1. You don’t get a second chance  
One week, you have one week to dazzle the judges (current members), if you get cut, you’re out. When pageants tell you no, you can decide if you want to come back and try again. Similar to sororities; you get cut? You can COB. Just like pageants, it is up to you if you want to try for something or someone who didn’t want you in the first place. I don’t think giving up should ever being an option, but realizing your time may be better suited somewhere else, may be.     

2. Someone will always be better than you     
Jealously is inevitable; someone will always have a head start. In pageants, maybe hours of coaching, for recruitment, maybe five more recommendation letters than you. The amazing thing about sorority recruitment vs. pageants is there is not just one winner. There are hundreds (thousands if you go to Mizzou).  The odds are on your side and you’re not competing against other girls, you’re competing against yourself. Just sometimes, your best might not be as good as someone else’s best. It’s okay. You are you for a reason.     

3. It takes the complete package
It is not simply enough to have perfect hair, or perfect clothes. You need a good personality, recommendation letters in some cases, a killer attitude and be the right fit for the house. I struggled during recruitment and could not understand why countless houses kept cutting me. I still don’t completely understand it, and that’s okay. Sometimes you just aren’t what the judges (members) are looking for, that doesn’t make you any less of an awesome person, it just means they can’t see all of it.

4. “Girl dating”
I did not fully grasp this idea until I was greeted by a random sorority girl in the entrance of a gorgeous house on the first day of recruitment. Suddenly she wanted to know my favorite foods, my dreams, my most embarrassing moments, my life; I wouldn’t have been surprised if she asked me out to coffee after (which did happen once I accepted a bid). It is like trying to find your best friend by speed dating recruitment style. Members are looking for their potential little, PNMs for their big. Either way, they will know everything about you, and at the end of the day, could still forget your name.     

5. Unspoken rules
Although this is sometimes not allowed to be discussed, any TSM or recruitment question board will say this same thing. There are certain things you just do not talk about during recruitment or during a pageant. Known by sorority girls as ‘The B’s:' Boys, Booze, Beliefs and Bucks. It is even stricter for pageants — you don’t tell anyone anything unless they ask.      

6. $$$$
Money, money, money. Sorority dues seem like a breeze when compared to pageant fees. Let me just tell you that sororities are a much more affordable hobby than pageants. Yes, sorority dues are very expensive, and everyone is in different places with money. It is an investment, to your future, your connections, your friends and your life. Whether you spend $2,000 on dues, or $2,000 on a pageant dress, money is unfortunately a part of both. Like I said, it’s an investment.      

7. Grades and service
Both pageant systems and sororities have standards they must uphold. While sororities are a lot more academically inclined than some pageant systems, until you graduate college, your GPA will follow you wherever you go. I have always seen it as a positive thing, it gives you something you strive for and motivation to do well in school. If you have beauty and brains, you will be unbeatable.      

8. An open mind
I wish I would’ve known this before I started competing in pageants and before I went into recruitment. It is so easy to attach yourself to a certain house, or be so focused on competition that winning is the only option. I say keep an open mind because if you don’t, you’re only hurting yourself.               

Side note: My first day of recruitment at Mizzou, I was in one of the "top houses," the girl in the house could tell I was nervous and she stopped me mid sentence and said, “I can tell you’re nervous, I can tell you believe stereotypes and I can tell you are trying really hard for this house. If I could tell you your future in this house, I would. Unfortunately, not one person knows what it will be. Stop focusing on the letter on the outside of the house, and start focusing on the girls inside. You will find pretty girls, smart girls, sporty girls, ignorant girls, annoying girls, slutty girls and mean girls in every house. You will find your place in any house you end up in, whether it is this house or not. I wish someone had told me that during recruitment, so I am telling you. Focus on yourself, the girls you talk to; not the letters, hand signs or things frat guys yell to you.” 

Unfortunately I did not get asked back to that house, but after that day I focused on what I wanted in a house, not what everyone told me to want in a house.   

9. Slipping through the cracks
On that note, sometimes girls slip through the cracks during recruitment. It could be something as simple as they forgot your last name or ran out of time to rank you. You may never know why you got dropped from a house, just like you may never know why you got 1st Runner Up in a pageant. Let it go and focus on what you have left. During recruitment you could have three recommendation letters, or be a legacy, a killer personality or maybe even know the president. Sometimes you will get dropped from a house, it may be unfair yes, but amazing people slip through the cracks, in recruitment, in pageants, in life. Don’t give up.     

10. Trusting the system
We have all heard it a million times, during rush week I wanted to scream every time someone told me to “trust the system” after crying my eyes because my favorite house dropped me. Now I am saying the same thing. Yes, at times the system can be a little messed up and unfair, but in the end, it works. Whenever I wouldn’t place in a pageant I would just tell myself, "I guess it just wasn’t your year," during rush, after a few tears, I would pick myself up and say "It’ll all work out," and it did. I ended up in a house I love, that wants me for who I am; all because I trusted the system.