I attended an event put on by my school’s women and gender studies program in honor of Women’s History Month. The event was a screening and discussion of the documentary film "UnSlut," created by founder Emily Lindin, a woman who growing up was labeled the school’s slut and in her adulthood wanted to bring an end to sexual bullying and “slut” shaming through awareness of sharing the stories of girls like Rehtaeh Parsons, Amanda Todd and Audrie Pott. The documentary is part of The UnSlut Project which “promotes gender equality, sex positivity and comprehensive, age-appropriate sex education for all ages.”

After watching this documentary, I realized that women are just as responsible as men for slut shaming. In middle school, I slut shamed my former best friend. I was 13 years old and I hadn’t even kissed a guy, had my first boyfriend or even had sex yet. My best friend at the time confided in me by telling me she had sex for the first time. Instead of supporting her through this big decision she had made in her sexual life, I called her a “slut.” She trusted me to tell me and I degraded her by making her feel like she could not explore her female sexuality. My former best friend cried in front of me and at the age of 13, I realized how that term “slut” could be very powerful to cage young girls and women into thinking they cannot be sexually confident. I apologized to her and little did I know, seven years later I would feel the same way, feeling like I was being slut shamed by society as I explored by sexuality in college.

My first semester of my sophomore year of college I began to explore my sexuality in ways I had never before. In October, I attended a formal and I decided to return to my date’s room once the evening ended. I lost my virginity that night. I awoke the next morning, realizing I would have to walk across campus in my tight dress and heels on a Sunday morning. My date gave me a big T-shirt to put on and I hesitated before I walked outside from the residence hall. I texted one of my best friends who lives in Washington, D.C., and told her I was preceding to make my first “walk of shame.” She called me and the first thing she said to me was “Walk of no shame!” I laughed and as I walked across campus, I felt like everyone’s eyes were on me as I held my head high. I walked barefoot in a big T-shirt and I waved and smiled at people I knew instead of making it awkward for myself. I felt confident and I felt proud that I wasn’t ashamed of people knowing I was returning from a guy’s room. At that exact moment, at first, made me feel people would label me as a “slut” for fulfilling my sexual needs. For most young women, society would look at this as a denouncement, while I saw it as a celebration. This exact encounter is what led me to looking up Amber Rose’s video “Walk of No Shame with Amber Rose” on YouTube. Amber Rose is definitely an advocate against “slut” shaming, so her video resonated with me that women can be open with their sexuality. Her video took on a different approach as she made her “walk of no shame,” with people in the neighborhood applauding her for flaunting her sexuality instead of it commonly being people lashing out.

I grew up with a single father, in which sex was not really discussed. My father’s words to me: “Sex is for when you are married.” I know he said that to protect me in fear that I would get pregnant similar to Kat Stratford’s dad from "10 Things I Hate About You." Yet, I felt like my father was policing me, making me feel like exploring my sexuality was shameful and wrong even when it’s completely opposite for my brothers. I confronted my father with a very bold response via message that most daughters would be afraid to do:

“Society teaches women to wait till marriage, but that is not ideal. Society teaches women to have safe and consensual sex even though that should already be a given. Society should teach women to be comfortable in their sexuality in exploring sex, because I think it should be pleasurable for women and they should define what they do and don’t like in sexual relations. I don’t think it’s wrong for women to have casual sex or to have sex in actual relationships, because as women we have that right to … So I don’t think women are sluts for having sex before marriage or liking sex.”

I even felt “slut” shaming was engraved in our school systems based on the dress codes between boys and girls. Girls at my middle school weren’t allowed to wear crop tops, short shorts, short skirts, holes above the knee or type of clothing that was revealing, because the administration felt it would distract students, hence boys, from the educational environment. The article "How ‘Slut Shaming’ Has Been Written Into School Dress Codes Across the Country" addresses several incidents in which female students got in trouble for their clothing choices with administration saying the clothing was too revealing or a distraction to other students. In fact, slut shaming of women leads to them being a target of sexual assault, according to the Boston Globe article, slut shaming undermines women. It is presumed by perpetrators that a woman who is labeled as “slut” is believed to never say no to sex. If a woman has said yes to sex before does not mean she will say yes to sex the next time.

The effects of “slut” shaming can be detrimental, according to the article "The Effects of Slut Shaming on Teen Girls." Teenage girls who are slut shamed may experience “deep humiliation, shame, embarrassment, worthlessness and pain.” They may even lead to engaging in negative coping mechanisms, such as “self-bullying or eating disorders” or resort to “depression, anxiety and thoughts of suicide.” People need to have these uncomfortable conversations about putting an end to sexual shaming, especially parents, because one of their daughters may be a victim to sexual shaming or sexual bullying and it’s better to prevent it from happening now then later. Please don’t let anyone end up like these beautiful young women who took their lives to sexual shaming.

To end off with a happier note, check out Amy Schumer’s video about sexual shaming, "Congresswoman Amy," in which “representative Amy Schumer holds a press conference to address a long list of allegations regarding her sexual misconduct.”