I’m young, and I’m a girl. I won’t say that I’m particularly attractive or not, but I will admit that a lot of guys I encounter seem to think so. Regardless, there is a respect for women that a lot of guys my age do not have, whether we are found attractive or not.

The other day, I was talking to a guy - he’s right around my age. I’ve been single for a little while now and I’m getting into the casual dating scene, one that I am not usually a part of. I’ve always been one for relationships - not friends with benefits, not casual sex - actual, long term relationships. Not to say that there is anything wrong with friends with benefits or a casual sexual relationship, but I have no interest in either.

This guy and I met in public circumstances. He was sweet and charming and of course I was attracted to him. I have a problem with guys who are sweet and charming, I seem to attach a lot quicker than I should. I’ve hung out with this guy one time and things went well. Maybe a little too well, because I was not expecting what our conversations in the next week would lead to.

We were talking about “what we were looking for,” basically defining the relationship between us. Now things that he had said led me to believe he was interested in a relationship, while other things he said to me led me to believe he wasn’t.

So, I simply explained that at the moment, I’m interested in him and would like to pursue a relationship should the opportunity arise.

I was not expecting his response.

“Well, I can’t make any promises, but I should know after the next time we hang out.”

I thought to myself that something wasn’t right about this. So I pressed the situation further and asked what he meant.

“Well I mean, after we have sex I’ll know if I want a relationship with you, if I catch feelings after.”

At first, this didn’t bother me. I thought, okay it’s just him being a guy, he probably doesn’t mean that. He had already told me he liked me.

Something he had just come to know about me was that I had been sexually assaulted two years ago. I had told him it was very hard for me to trust people because of that, usually because they want to use me.

When I was sexually assaulted, the relationship with the offender was very similar to the one the guy I was talking to was describing.

Again, I went to bed that night and thought nothing of it. Similarly to when I had been assaulted, I had gone to bed and thought nothing of it. It was only when, in both situations, I had said something to someone else that I knew this was wrong. This did not feel right.

You know my intentions. You know my history, and you know why this is important to me.

I had this same feeling after Tuesday, November 8th, 2016. When now President-Elect Trump was elected into office.

The same feeling of being violated, not good enough, used, mistreated, and disrespected. And I can almost guarantee that several sexual assault survivors have felt the exact same way, especially after hearing the results of the election.

This man, the man that we Americans have elected into office, is now a role model and a leader for the entire country. Whether you agree with his views or not, that is what he is.

I made the mistake of not voting in this election. I made the mistake of believing that my voice did not matter. But it does, it matters so much. Especially to others like me, it matters.

“You know-I’m automatically attracted to beautiful. I just start kissing them. It’s like a magnet. Just kiss. I don’t even wait. And when you’re a star, they let you do it. You can do anything.”

“Grab’em by the p*ssy. You can do anything.”

For a country that already promotes victim blaming and victim shaming in sexual assault cases, I could not be more disgusted.

I thought things were getting better. I thought victims were being advocated for. But no, I was wrong.

Mr. Trump, your “locker room talk” may have just been talk to you. But I don’t believe for a second that no action was put to it. You’re a leader now. You’re leading my country, but I’m sorry sir, you are not my president.

As a sexual assault victim, I ask you, I ask the guy I was talking to, I ask all people of this country, please do not use others. Please do not treat others with such disrespect that they feel they are only good for sex. It is wrong, it is disgusting. Please do not make me feel even more violated than I already feel. That feeling never goes away. I live with it every day, and people like you are the ones that are not only going to perpetuate the problem, but make it seem as though there is no problem at all.

I am not an object.