I have never been a fan of my body. The first time someone called me fat I was in 4th grade. A boy thought it was necessary I should know that I wasn't stick thin like the other girls in our class. I had never been worried about my self image until then, I was a 4th grader that wore t-shirts with dogs on them for crying out loud! I was a care-free 9 year old until his stupid statement shattered my world. After that day I started layering. Sports bra, tank top, t-shirt, and jacket. I lived in Texas and I would always wear a jacket to cover myself up regardless of the 90 degree heat. That's when my body image issues and eating disorders started.
Starting in 6th grade I was afraid to eat in public. I would hardly eat when my family went out to eat because I was afraid people would judge what I had on my plate. In 7th grade I brought my lunch every day but I threw it away because I didn't want to eat. I was too fat. Or at least my 5'4" 105 pound self thought. My mom found out I was throwing away my food when I couldn't tell her what was in my lunch that day. I had to start eating lunch in the nurses office. In 8th grade I knew people were watching me so I would binge eat...then throw it up at home. I abused weight loss pills and laxatives. I was bulimic. I finally decided to tell someone I needed help when I threw up blood due to my esophagus eroding. I went to counseling and things gradually got better.
The reason I am telling you all this story is because it is important to see how far someone can come from hating themselves to finding self love. Not only was I physically unhealthy but so was my mind. Through out my sessions of counseling and through maturing into a woman I have learned to love myself and why it is important to have self love.
I am not completely over all of my self image issues but I am now happy and healthy and a college athlete. I have realized that the place that I was in in middle school made me sad and unhappy being so self conscious with how I was made. I have learned to love my body through it's flaws and imperfections. I have learned to take care of myself with exercise and eating right. Yes, I splurge sometimes, and yes, I feel guilty about it. But we shouldn't feel guilty. You only live once. So treat your body and eat that piece of cake or go grab yourself an ice cream cone. I have come to realize life is too short to meticulously count calories and worry every second about how you look.
I believe having confidence in who you are is a big key to finding happiness in your life. When you begin to love yourself you begin to love life and that is why having self love is important. Having self love is not being conceited but being proud of who you are. So be proud of who you are and love yourself, because life is too short to hate who you are.
